356: Teaching Kids to Communicate their Sensory Needs
with Sarah Collins, MSOT, OTR/L
Listen on Apple Podcasts | Spreaker | Spotify | iHeart Radio
There’s a moment most of us recognize when our child’s behavior feels confusing, intense, or completely out of left field. But what if that behavior is actually communication we haven’t yet learned how to interpret?
In this episode, I sit down with occupational therapist Sarah Collins to talk about something that can truly shift how we parent: helping our kids understand and communicate their sensory needs. When kids don’t have the words, or even the awareness for what’s happening in their bodies, it often shows up as “challenging behavior.” And when we can decode that, everything starts to change.
We talk about what sensory processing really is (in a way that actually makes sense), including those lesser-known internal senses like interoception, which helps kids recognize hunger, anxiety, or overwhelm. We also explore how movement supports awareness, why some kids need to move to focus, and how behavior is often a child’s first attempt at self-advocacy.
Sarah shares practical ways to build this awareness, from using everyday observations to introducing simple language frameworks. We also talk about when to talk and when to say nothing at all.
This conversation is about helping our kids feel seen in their bodies so they can begin to understand themselves and eventually advocate for what they need.
This episode will open your eyes in the best way. Listen now and start seeing your child’s needs through a new lens.
When a child melts down, refuses, fidgets, or does something that makes no sense to us, our instinct is often to correct it. To stop it. To fix it. But those behaviors aren’t problems to solve, they’re messages to understand.
For many neurodivergent kids, behavior is communication long before language catches up. Especially when it comes to sensory needs.
Sensory processing is how our nervous system takes in and organizes information from the world and our own bodies. Most of us are familiar with the five basic senses, but there’s so much more happening under the surface. There’s proprioception, which tells us where our body is and how much force to use. There’s vestibular input, which helps with balance and alertness. And there’s interoception, the internal sense that tells us things like “I’m hungry,” “I’m anxious,” or “I need a break.”
For many neurodivergent kids, especially those with ADHD or autism, these systems don’t always communicate clearly. That means a child might feel overwhelmed but not know why. Or need movement to regulate but be told to sit still. Or feel discomfort in their body and express it through behavior that looks defiant, silly, or disruptive.
This is where we, as parents, can shift everything.
Instead of asking, “Why are they doing this?” we can start asking, “What might their body need right now?”
Awareness is the first step. And awareness comes from experience, observation, and connection. When we allow kids to move, explore, and engage their bodies, we’re actually helping them build awareness of what’s happening inside. Movement isn’t a distraction from learning, it’s often the pathway to it.
Language comes next. But not in the way we might think.
Instead of labeling emotions for our kids, we can begin by describing what we notice. “I see your shoulders are tight.” “Your body looks really wiggly.” “I notice it was easier to focus after you moved.” This kind of declarative language helps kids connect physical sensations to internal states without pressure or judgment.
Over time, we can introduce simple systems to help kids communicate how they feel. Whether it’s colors, animals, or engine speeds, these frameworks give kids a starting point. Not to categorize them, but to help them recognize patterns in their own bodies.
And just as important as what we say… is what we don’t say.
In moments of overwhelm, less language is often more supportive. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is offer a visual, a tool, or simply our calm presence.
The goal is helping our kids understand themselves well enough to ask for what they need. And when that happens, behavior stops being confusing and starts making sense.
So often, what we label as “challenging behavior” is actually a child’s attempt to communicate something they don’t yet understand themselves. When we shift from correcting behavior to getting curious about it, we begin to see the unmet sensory needs underneath. That perspective alone can soften our response and open the door to connection.
Awareness of the body is foundational for emotional regulation. Without knowing what’s happening inside, it’s nearly impossible for a child to identify feelings or advocate for needs. Movement, observation, and supportive language all play a role in helping kids build this awareness over time.
Communication isn’t always verbal, especially in moments of dysregulation. Sometimes the most supportive response is less talking and more attunement. When we meet our kids where they are, with tools that match their capacity in the moment, we help them feel safe enough to eventually develop the skills they need.
What You'll Learn
How sensory processing actually works, including the internal senses most parents aren’t taught about
Why movement is essential for awareness, focus, and emotional regulation
How to recognize behavior as communication of sensory needs
Ways to build your child’s awareness of their body and internal state
Simple, practical language tools to help your child communicate what they need
MY GUEST
Sarah Collins, MSOT, OTR/L
Sarah Collins, MSOT, OTR/L, is an occupational therapist and homeschooling parent dedicated to helping parents align homeschooling with their children’s unique needs. Through HomeschoolOT, she provides personalized consultations, teaches courses for parents and teens, fosters community through group and individual coaching, speaks at national conferences, and inspires through her new picture book, “A Chameleon Tale”. Her work empowers parents to build learning environments that support their children’s development and passions. You can find Sarah on her website at homeschoolOT.com, her podcast The OT is IN, or on Instagram at homeschool_OT
Resources
Some of the resources may be affiliate links, meaning I receive a commission (at no cost to you) if you use that link to make a purchase.
A Chameleon Tale: A Colorful, Sensory Story, by Sarah Collins
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Beautifully Complex Ep. 356
Teaching Kids to Communicate their Sensory Needs, with Sarah Collins, MSOT, OTR/L
[00:00:12] Penny Williams: Welcome back, everyone. I am so excited to have you here—parents, teachers, other caring adults in our neurodivergent kids' lives. Welcome. I’m really happy to have Sarah Collins here with me, who is the founder of Homeschool OT, and we’re going to talk about communicating sensory needs—communicating what’s happening.
So helping our kids, our teens, be able to tell us what is going on for them sensory-wise and what the need is that they have.
Sarah, will you start by introducing yourself? Let everybody know who you are and what you do, and then we’ll jump into some sensory talk.
[00:00:57] Sarah Collins: Absolutely. So my name is Sarah Collins. Like you said, I’m an occupational therapist and a homeschool mom. I have three kids, one who’s about to graduate from our homeschool, so she will no longer, obviously, be homeschooled. I have my middle son who is 15, and he actually goes to the Philadelphia Hockey Academy.
He is neurodivergent, and a lot of what we’re going to talk about today comes from the blending of my background as an occupational therapist and my parenting—recognizing what my child needs and how to communicate with him. So a lot of this comes from both of those perspectives.
And then I have a younger son bringing up the rear, who’s 10, and he’s the last one in our homeschool.
So what I do now as part of Homeschool OT is I work with parents across the world on either setting up their homeschool programs if they have kiddos who are neurodivergent, or working with them within their homeschools to really cater to what their children need, how their children learn, how to help them do what they specifically need and want to do.
It’s different for everybody. What you need to do and what I need to do are totally different. And how we get to that part of being “successful” in those tasks is different for everybody. So it’s really working on how we can personalize education for our children.
[00:02:24] Penny Williams: Mm. And that’s the key. That’s absolutely the key—and we should be doing this for all kids.
[00:02:31] Sarah Collins: Yeah. Mm-hmm.
[00:02:32] Penny Williams: Teaching the individual, fostering the growth and the journey of figuring out who they are on an individual basis—but that’s a whole other soapbox that we won’t get on in this conversation.
But—
[00:02:48] Sarah Collins: In an ideal world, it would be absolutely possible, and I totally get why it’s not. But when it can be, that’s where I come alongside parents to do so.
[00:02:58] Penny Williams: Awesome. Let’s start by, I think, defining what sensory processing is and how different sensory needs might show up for different kids.
[00:03:09] Sarah Collins: In the world of occupational therapy, there are some really technical definitions, right? And then there are also parents who are like, “I just need to know what is going on with my kiddo.” And different parents come at this differently.
There are some who want to read all the research, and I totally understand that. And then there are some who just want to support their child in what they need and want to do, and I’m totally there for both.
For the purposes of today, let’s talk about how to support our kids.
Basically, sensory processing is taking in all the information from around you through our senses. That includes the big five—what you see, what you hear, what you touch, what you taste—all of those.
Then there are also three more senses. There is proprioception, which is taking in information through your muscles and joints. It gives us information on how much force to use and where our body is in relationship to itself.
So my prime example for this would be—you go to the front door, you hear a knock, and it’s the Amazon guy. You have two boxes there. You ordered paper towels and something really heavy—like a kettlebell.
They come in the same size box. So you go to pick one up thinking it’s paper towels, but it’s the kettlebell. Your body is confused for a second, and then it adjusts. Or vice versa—you think it’s heavy, and it’s light, and you almost throw it.
That’s proprioception organizing that information so you can function in the task.
In general, proprioception is the most calming sense—it can calm your nervous system. That’s why when you bump your arm, the first thing you do is grab it.
[00:05:59] Penny Williams: Grab it.
[00:06:01] Sarah Collins: Exactly. Because that sends calming messages to your brain.
Another sense is the vestibular sense—your sense of balance. It’s in your inner ear and helps you know where you are in space.
Proprioception is where your body is relative to itself. Vestibular is where it is in relation to the world.
It’s often the most alerting sense. Think of a rollercoaster—you get off highly alert.
For some kids who are sluggish, movement like spinning or walking can help wake up their system. My son was a spinner—we used a scooter board and spun him, and then he was ready to engage.
Finally, interoception—what you feel internally. Hunger, nausea, needing the bathroom, heart racing.
You have to be able to recognize those internal signals to then connect them to emotions like anxiety or excitement.
[00:08:39] Penny Williams: And that awareness is the key.
[00:08:42] Sarah Collins: Mm-hmm.
[00:08:42] Penny Williams: And teaching kids about sensory processing and sensory needs—because we don’t do that.
For many neurodivergent kids, there’s more difficulty with that awareness and communication.
We often see behaviors that are actually stemming from sensory struggles.
[00:09:50] Sarah Collins: It’s really interesting that interoception can be the basis for communication. Without awareness, how do you advocate?
And how often are we telling kids to suppress what they need? Sit down, pay attention.
We need to give our kids language and help them understand that internal state.
Movement is key. If kids are still, they’re less aware of internal signals.
So we need to build in movement. In homeschool, we could do that easily—cooking, chores, crawling to clean baseboards.
That gave my son proprioceptive input in a functional way.
In classrooms, that might look like flexible seating—balls, stools, discs.
Then we can say things like, “I notice it’s easier to focus when you move.”
We’re helping them recognize their zone of optimal alertness.
[00:13:40] Penny Williams: Right.
[00:13:41] Sarah Collins: If we can observe how their body shows that—posture, eye contact, tension—and add language, we’re teaching self-advocacy.
[00:14:14] Penny Williams: And I used to do movement with homework. My kid never just sat still. He bounced on a ball, used tactile tools.
I even have a video of him upside down on my bed with his feet on the wall reading—that’s how he could focus.
[00:15:48] Sarah Collins: Right. Because he was doing what his body needed.
He was getting proprioceptive input through pressure and vestibular input from being upside down.
Many kids need both alerting and calming input at the same time.
[00:17:51] Penny Williams: And they’re communicating their needs through behavior.
[00:18:06] Penny Williams: We often dismiss it because it looks “crazy,” but it’s communication.
[00:18:20] Sarah Collins: Yes. And we have to think, “How can I say yes safely?”
[00:20:18] Penny Williams: I love that. A quantified yes is often better than a no.
Let’s talk about language.
[00:20:54] Sarah Collins: We use declarative language— “I notice…” “I see…”
Separating body sensations from emotions.
There are systems like “How Does Your Engine Run?” or Zones of Regulation.
But the key is asking, “What do you need right now?”
And sometimes, we don’t talk at all.
[00:27:48] Sarah Collins: When my son was dysregulated, I wouldn’t talk. I would just hand him a visual cue like a Lego figure.
Too much language would escalate things.
[00:28:48] Penny Williams: So not always verbal communication.
[00:28:59] Sarah Collins: Sometimes we need to hush and observe.
[00:29:22] Penny Williams: Tell us about your book.
[00:29:33] Sarah Collins: It’s called A Chameleon Tale: A Colorful Sensory Story.
It shows sensory changes through color—making internal states visible externally.
It also shows that parents have needs too, which helps kids feel less alone.
[00:33:03] Penny Williams: That’s so important for belonging.
[00:33:50] Penny Williams: Where can people find you?
[00:33:56] Sarah Collins: You can find the book on Amazon or request it at your library.
I’m at homeschoolot.com and on social media @homeschoolot.
[00:34:38] Penny Williams: We’ll link everything in the show notes at parentingadhdandautism.com.
Helping kids understand their needs leads to self-advocacy.
I appreciate you so much, Sarah.
Take good care.
hey there!
I help stuck and struggling parents (educators, too) make the pivots necessary to unlock success and joy for neurodivergent kids and teens, themselves, and their families. I'm honored to be part of your journey!
Host of Beautifully Complex. I help stuck and struggling parents (educators, too) make the pivots necessary to unlock success and joy for neurodivergent kids and teens, themselves, and their families. I'm honored to be part of your journey!
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