Tosha Schore [00:00:01]: Really, what our kids need is for us to simply be present with them and accept them in that moment exactly as they are for who they are. There's plenty of time for guiding and helping and all of that, but there's actually going to be less need for that the more we can zip it and really be present. Penny Williams [00:00:21]: Welcome to Beautifully Complex, where we unpack what it really means to parent neurodivergent kids with dignity and clarity. I'm Penny Williams, and I know firsthand how tough and transformative this journey can be. Let's dive in and discover how to raise regulated, resilient, beautifully complex kids together. Oh, and if you want more support, join our free community at Hub beautifullycomplex Life. Penny Williams [00:00:51]: Welcome back, everybody, to Beautifully Complex. I am really excited to have my friend Tasha Schorr here with me again to today. Talk about emotions and the healing power of emotions. Tasha, will you start by letting everybody know who you are and what you do, and then we'll jump into it. Tosha Schore [00:01:10]: Yeah. Thanks for having me, Penny. Well, I'm Tasha Shore. I appreciate the opportunity to share my thinking with your audience yet again. Thank you. I run a business called Parenting Boys Peacefully. And I have a mission of creating a more peaceful world one sweet boy at a time. And essentially, I do that by working with parents, mostly of young boys who are struggling with big emotions. Tosha Schore [00:01:34]: Right. Like what we're gonna talk about. So hard behaviors, aggression or talking back or big tantrums, those types of things. Because I feel like if we can create some peace in our home, that's going to emanate out into our communities and into the wider world, and ultimately that's what's gonna change things for the better. Penny Williams [00:01:53]: Absolutely. Yeah. And I've thought a lot over the years about how we really tell boys, boys especially, to keep their emotions in. Don't share your emotions, don't feel your emotions. Just stuff them down. Right. Which is so unhealthy. And now we're talking more about emotions in general in our culture, I think. Penny Williams [00:02:16]: And it's such a. A good thing. I think we need to keep pushing, right. This message that feelings are natural, feelings are acceptable. There aren't any good or bad feelings. It's what we do with them that dictates. But I think our emotions, they're kind of the foundation of life. If we're going to be happy, we need to be dealing with emotion, processing emotion, coping through emotion, all of these things in a healthy way. Penny Williams [00:02:44]: Do you want to start by talking about really, what is the connection between emotions and healing as you're talking about the healing power of emotions. We often think of emotions as difficult. Right. So how do we connect that healing narrative? Tosha Schore [00:03:02]: Yeah, I mean, I think emotions are difficult. They're difficult for us to hear if we're not the one having them. They're difficult for, like, if it's our child who's having them. It's often difficult for us as parents to listen because perhaps we're being witnessed. Maybe we feel embarrassment or shame or guilt. What do we do wrong? But I don't think for the person, they're necessarily too challenging. And I think that if we partner together, which I think needs to be the goal, for two people to partner together, whether that's two adults or adults and child. Right. Tosha Schore [00:03:41]: That we can harness the power of those emotions to heal. I think probably the biggest problem that I see is that we misidentify the big upsets. Right? So the big tantrum or the rage or whatever it is as the problem. And I'm not saying, like, it's okay to hit or kick or whatever. That's not what I'm saying. But that is not the problem. So, like, the problem already happened, Right? The hurt, the upset set in. We don't necessarily know what that was. Tosha Schore [00:04:16]: Maybe it's been, you know, years of being teased in school. Maybe it was a hard birth. Maybe it was, you know, trying to process the split up of my parents. You know, who knows what it was. But the problem has already happened. And the feelings that are coming out aren't just not the problem, they are actually the solution to the problem. So what we do is we tend to, because we feel embarrassed or because we feel like they are the problem, we try to put a lid on them. Penny Williams [00:04:48]: Yeah, right. Tosha Schore [00:04:48]: We tell our kids or ourselves, you know, to man up, to just deal with it, to calm down. I oftentimes when I'm listening to parents and there's feelings that start to bubble up, like, they'll start to cry, for example. They'll do this like they're trying to breathe and stop the tears from coming. And then I see my job as, how do I encourage them? By creating a safe enough space that they can just allow the feelings to flow. Because it's actually that somatic release that leads them to the release of the tension and the letting go of that hurt and upset that set in so that they can once again think, be present, and, like, assess accurately situations that they face day in and day out, rather than running on emotions. So it's like the emotions aren't the problem. The problem already happened. So if we're not trying to make the emotions stop, then we open up this world of possibility of healing. Penny Williams [00:05:52]: Recently, I heard somebody say that crying is healing. And it really sort of took me back. I really had to think about that. But, you know, that is the processing of the emotion. That's feeling the feeling. Your body is responding to that feeling. But if you weren't feeling it, then you wouldn't cry, right? You wouldn't have these outward expressions. And we have to feel the feeling to move through it and get to the other side of it. Penny Williams [00:06:21]: And that really stuck with me. Tosha Schore [00:06:23]: Yeah, like, feelings aren't bad. I mean, we can act on them in ways that are not good, but the feelings themselves aren't bad. And, I mean, I'm just thinking of the story of myself where I had maybe, gosh, it's been several years now. It was 2018, so quite a while. But I have fell into my. My one and only depression of my lifetime so far. Hopefully the only one ever. And I practice a practice of listening partnership that we write about in the book, where parents take turns listening to one another and witnessing one another and holding space for the other person to process their feelings, to cry, to share, to talk, to laugh, whatever comes up. Tosha Schore [00:07:07]: And at the same time, I was seeing a therapist and talking things out with her a little bit, and it was really interesting. And she said, you know, you would be a candidate for antidepressants if you want to do that. And I'm like, no, I don't really want to do that. I'm going to keep up with my listening partnership, and I think I can get through this. And I was really strategic about it. Like, it took me 10 months. And because I have been using the practice for so long, I have built up a network of people who I support and who support me. And I set up daily exchanges for myself over those 10 months. Tosha Schore [00:07:43]: And I also figured out that morning didn't work so well because sometimes afterwards I just felt so spent or maybe even a little bit down and heavy, and I couldn't get my work done. So I figured that, okay, I need to do my work in the morning and then come to that healing for myself midday, early afternoon. So I got really strategic about it, and it felt like I was getting nowhere. Like, I was just cry. I would sob. Like, just sob and sob and sob, day after day after day. And, you know, presumably it was about, you know, missing my. I had just moved across the world, you know, missing my friends, missing my family. Tosha Schore [00:08:21]: But it Was sort of. It felt like it was getting nowhere. And one day, the person who was listening to me, who was my mentor, kind of cracked some sort of a. I don't know. I don't even remember exactly what she said at this point, but it was something like, if you had to take a wild guess at what this was really about, what do you think it would be? And honestly, I'd have to go back and listen to a podcast that I did with somebody else way back then, where I actually shared the story to remember what it was really about. I didn't remember anymore. That's how gone it is. But once I touched on that again, just this huge sob. Tosha Schore [00:09:03]: And then I woke up the next morning like a different person. Like, the depression was gone. It had lifted. It was no longer. And I went to my therapist that week, and I was like, I'm fine. She's like, well, what do you mean? I'm like, well, I've just been doing this practice of listening partnerships, and every day and I've been sobbing and I've been witnessed, and. I don't know. Yesterday my mentor said this thing to me, and I had this huge release, and I just woke up this morning, and I feel like Tasha again. Tosha Schore [00:09:34]: Like the Tasha who I used to know and love, who I haven't seen for 10 months. I feel fine, and I've been fine ever since. She's kind of like, okay. And then I gave her a copy of my book. I'm like, here, read this. Like, this is what I did. And I love her dearly. She was a little bit taken aback, but the process of being able to not try to not be sad, to not try to stop missing and just focusing on my life is here good. Tosha Schore [00:10:03]: Here is good. I need to make more friends. Let's find a community. I think we try to get pragmatic about things. And rather than doing that, I just created as much space as I needed to be able to let you all of the feeling out. And when I say out, I mean, like, in a somatic way, like shaking and sweating and sobbing and crying and raging and all the things that I needed to do. And when it was gone, it was just gone. Tosha Schore [00:10:32]: Yeah. Penny Williams [00:10:33]: What stands out to me about that is that your pain was being witnessed. You were being seen for exactly where you were and what was happening, and also not avoiding the feeling. You know, sometimes we tell people who are feeling down to practice gratitude. Well, that's kind of sidestepping. And I hadn't really thought about it that way until you Just shared that story. But if we're saying, okay, well, you know, the sun's shining today and I have a roof over my head, we're avoiding the feeling completely. We're not addressing the feeling. We're trying to control it. Penny Williams [00:11:12]: Instead, we're trying to put it away. Tosha Schore [00:11:14]: Right? Tosha Schore [00:11:14]: Absolutely. And I think, you know, a lot of people in the parenting space kind of skip over that piece, and that's what I'm really adamant about in my community. It's like, we have to do this work. Like, right before this podcast recording, I had a call in my community. It's a weekly call where we actually do this practice of listening partnerships, and we work on our feelings and we hone our practice, both being a listener and being listened to. And, you know, so much comes out. We're carrying so much. Whether it's, you know, we're embarrassed because our boys aren't being respectful of their friend's parents when they're at their house and they won't give up their electronics when they're being asked, or they're online and they're, you know, sexting some AI bot, or they, you know, hit their friend at a play date, or they called their mom a name that was triggering to the other mom at the play date, and now the mom won't let the kid play anymore, and the kid doesn't have any other friends, and, like, everybody's hearts are breaking. Tosha Schore [00:12:16]: I mean, these are huge, huge things that we are dealing with as parents. And if I'm going to just say, like, okay, well, your kid is not being respectful to other parents on play dates, well, try strategy A, and then if that doesn't work, try strategy B. And then if that doesn't work, try strategy, try tongue twister. Try strategy C. It's not going to work if I am a loaded cannon, right? If I, as the parent, am feeling ashamed, embarrassed, helpless, hopeless, overwhelmed, exhausted, like, I have to process those feelings or I'm going to have zero success implementing any of these strategies. So I think, like, one thing that I want to say to parents out there, listening is, like, you matter. You can't skip over your own healing. I mean, you don't have to reach nirvana and, like, you know, process everything before you can help your kids. Tosha Schore [00:13:12]: That's not what I'm saying. But there has to be a parallel path. And the thing is, also is, like, when you start doing that and you start to feel different yourself, you really gain. What's the word? Like, appreciation for the power of the release of the feelings. And you, you have then much more attention and patience to listen to your child when they are upset and the tendency to skate over it or to quiet it or to distract your child will wane. And that's ultimately what we want to have happen so that they can do their healing too, because otherwise their behaviors aren't going to change. Penny Williams [00:13:50]: Exactly. Tosha Schore [00:13:51]: Yeah. Yeah. Penny Williams [00:13:52]: Parenting work isn't just helping our kids do things or learn things. Parenting work is us working on ourselves too, in a parallel path. It has to be. Because we can't show up and offer co regulation and offer stability if we are swimming in all these emotions we haven't dealt with and we're stressed out and we're at our wits end and we are dysregulated, we can't be helpful from that place, from that state and that energy. But we have to make shifts and those shifts often take a lot of. Tosha Schore [00:14:29]: Self work they do. And I think I don't want people to feel overwhelmed. I think there's simple things we can do also. Like you don't have to, oh my God. I have to set up a listening partnership and set aside this time. And yes, that's fabulous. And yes, I do want you to do that. Penny Williams [00:14:45]: But one step at a time, One. Tosha Schore [00:14:47]: Step at a time. Right, but is there a song that you can listen to that lets you cry? Put it on and just allow yourself to release that tension. Or a show you can watch or a book you can read or somebody that you can talk to that will listen to you without interrupting or trying to fix you or give you advice or journaling or whatever? Like get creative, get creative. You know, can you go into your room and scream into a pillow, you know, turn the shower on and yell in the shower with whatever. Like think of it as energy. Like if you feel tight, there's energy in there that needs to come out. There's not one way to let it out. Just get really creative with whatever your situation is and just start experimenting. Tosha Schore [00:15:33]: You want to journal, journal. But like as you're writing, if the tears come or if there's laughter there, like let it come out, let it come out. It's not weird. It's normal. Tosha Schore [00:15:43]: Yeah. Penny Williams [00:15:44]: And it's the healing part. I just had a huge epiphany as you were talking. I am a person who craves bearing witness. Like I have to watch all the documentaries about all the hard things that people have been through and my kids think I'm insane. Like they don't understand why I feel a need to do that. And I just Realized that that is getting emotions out. Like, those hard things make me feel something. They often make me cry. Penny Williams [00:16:28]: And that bearing witness for other people's struggles can be healing for us. Like, this whole thing just popped into my head as you were talking and some aha. Bulbs. Tosha Schore [00:16:42]: Yeah. I mean, the bearing witness to others, I think, is a part that we don't think about. Like, when I teach parents listening partnerships, I think most parents go in thinking, all right, like, I'm kind of tightly wound, or I'm struggling to stop yelling at my kid. Like, I need to deal with my stuff. So I'm learning this practice for my own healing. And I think oftentimes they're quite surprised that they learn a ton. They feel a lot better as they witness others. So in a group, it often is like a breaking of the isolation. Tosha Schore [00:17:16]: So you hear everybody's stories. You don't judge. Nobody's judging. You. Experience what it's like to be in a completely nonjudgmental environment. And you also realize, okay, my kid's not the older one doing X, Y, or Z, and I'm not the only one losing it. And it just makes them feel normal. And when we feel normal, it's easier for us to kind of switch our behaviors. Tosha Schore [00:17:38]: But then one on one, as you are in a listening partnership, even, and especially when we're feeling like we're in a hard place and we're coming to it for our own healing, being able to listen to somebody else and offer something that's helpful to somebody else is an amazing confidence booster to the person who is listening. So it just comes as a surprise. You go in thinking, okay, like, I'm in this for me in the sense that I need the help. And then the fact that you have the ability and you get to support others ends up giving you strength in a way that you didn't even imagine. Penny Williams [00:18:19]: It's regulating to do kind things for other people. Like, to show up for someone else helps to regulate our nervous system. Tosha Schore [00:18:26]: And we often feel like we're failing as parents. Right. When our kids are struggling. And I'm working with parents whose kids are struggling. Right. Tosha Schore [00:18:34]: Yeah. Tosha Schore [00:18:34]: We're so hard on ourselves, so to know that we have a role that's quite helpful to somebody else, we're succeeding at something. Tosha Schore [00:18:45]: Yeah. Yeah. Penny Williams [00:18:46]: When you feel like a failure, it sort of overtakes you. You think about it in all aspects. And so any way that you can show up and feel like you're doing something good, it is going to be transformative, at least in the Short term. Tosha Schore [00:19:00]: Yeah. Yeah. Penny Williams [00:19:02]: So how do we encourage our kids to be more open with their emotions, to communicate them, to let them out? Tosha Schore [00:19:11]: We stop talking. That. I mean, that is like the main answer. That is the main answer. Pretty much every one of us talks too much. Yeah, every one of us. And so if you, the next time your child is struggling with something, whether or not you feel upset, if you, you might feel empathy, you might feel upset, you might feel like you want to help, like you could feel all kinds of things. I want to challenge you to not actually say anything, but really listen, listen to just understand, to take in what's going on for them. Tosha Schore [00:19:45]: Not in that mode of trying to figure out, okay, I'm listening, but I'm trying to figure out like what I can say or how I can help or how I can make them feel better or how I can solve the problem or what I need to do as a responsible parent in X, Y or Z situation. None of that. Just be present. Amazing things will happen when our kids understand that we can hold that space for them. They will share more. Even the kids who, who have shut down. But the second they feel that we're judging them or we're trying to solve a problem for them, even they'll shut down again. So it's not complicated, but it can be challenging for many of us because we live in a world where talking is like the way, right? Like we are expected to help people by offering solutions. Tosha Schore [00:20:38]: We're in a self help world. Read this book, listen to this podcast, right? Like do this, do that, do this, do that. But being, we forgot what being is. And really what our kids need is for us to simply be present with them and accept them in that moment exactly as they are for who they are. There's plenty of time for guiding and helping and all of that, but there's actually gonna be less need for that the more we can zip it and really be present and listen. Because like with us, the more they're able to share whether they're talking to us or they're crying or whatever they're doing. They are going to build their own intelligence. They are going to get smarter. Tosha Schore [00:21:21]: They are going to have aha moments, right, like you've been having. And they will likely come up with solutions themselves or be able to get to a place where they can ask us a specific question question rather than just having the big upset. So that is the number one thing. If that's all anybody does, that would be a huge gift to our children. Penny Williams [00:21:42]: Yes. And to ourselves. I have to say, because we will see changes come from that. Tosha Schore [00:21:48]: Right. And also, it's a break. Right. I think so many of us are like, what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? Right. Parents come to me. They come to you. Like, I don't know what to do with this kid. I don't have to do this situation. Tosha Schore [00:21:58]: Help, help, help. But oftentimes less is more. If you stop and just listen, what needs to be done will likely become clear. Tosha Schore [00:22:07]: Yeah, yeah. Tosha Schore [00:22:09]: It's not an emergency. It doesn't have to happen right this second. Tosha Schore [00:22:11]: Yeah. Penny Williams [00:22:12]: And sometimes listening is listening to the silence. I think that's where we make the mistake of talking too much so often is. If nobody's saying anything, then we feel like we have to fill that void, and we don't. If we actually just give them space to process, to figure out what they might want to say or do or whatever, just give them that space, hold that space. It can be so transformative. And in their own time, too. You know, one thing that my own kid taught me as a teenager was, I don't want to talk about it in your time. And my time was always right, now, let's deal with it and get past it. Penny Williams [00:22:50]: But I am okay to talk about it at some point, and I'll let you know when that is. Which was really hard for me. It was very hard for me to not try to solve the problem. Right. To not try to make him feel better, to get through it. It wasn't that I was trying to put away the feelings, but I wanted to help him with them. Right. And I thought, if we don't talk about it now, we're never going to talk about it. Penny Williams [00:23:11]: And that absolutely was not true. Like, every single time over the last, I don't know, six years, seven years, since I embraced what he was telling me he needed. He comes at some point and talks to me at some point in his own time. So it's not that he doesn't want my help, which I think is a way that we interpret that or misinterpret that. It's just that he needed it differently, and I needed to be open to that. I needed to leave the space of time sometimes for that. Tosha Schore [00:23:43]: Yeah. I love that. I think that our kids always need us in some way, you know, regardless of their age. But we often want to do things our way. Right. We want them to share in the way that we share or whatever. And again, we need to think of ourselves as responsive, to be present when they're younger. That Looks one way. Tosha Schore [00:24:05]: If we're listening to a little kid, you know, a five year old have a tantrum about something that looks very different than listening to, you know, a 16 year old share about, you know, pornography or sex stuff or tech stuff or school stuff. I mean, that looks very different. When we get into the teenage years, there's a lot I talk about just being present. And so I love what you're doing. It's like, basically, I'm here. If and when you want to talk, I will make myself available as opposed to, we need to talk about this. Like, you can't like, hold this in. That's like our desperation and our need. Penny Williams [00:24:44]: Exactly. Tosha Schore [00:24:44]: They won't respond to that. They will distance themselves. Penny Williams [00:24:47]: Yeah, exactly. Tosha Schore [00:24:48]: So I love that you figured that out because, I mean, I'm sure that completely transformed your relationship. Penny Williams [00:24:52]: Totally. It took years for me to hear him on that. Like, it was so hard for me. And then I finally just had to have faith that if I followed his lead, things would work out. And then, lo and behold, you know, he shares with me way more than he would have had I forced him. Right. Way more. Tosha Schore [00:25:13]: And you can't force him. Penny Williams [00:25:15]: No, no, they're just gonna shut down. Tosha Schore [00:25:17]: Yeah. I mean, I have. One of my three is a teenager who, he's more reserved and even like, his brothers or dad will be like, you know, he doesn't talk to me. Or he doesn't, you know, I don't know what's going on with him. And I'm like, well, I totally know what's going on with him. And he completely talks to me like, y' all need to just shut up for a minute. Penny Williams [00:25:40]: Yeah, just let him. Tosha Schore [00:25:42]: Yeah. Like, he's not a kid who's going to. Or a young man who's going to fight for airtime, but he knows that if he needs me, I'm here. I'm not like, you know, texting him and calling him and being like, you know, hey, what's up? What's going on? How is this? Did you solve this problem? I just say, like, hey, if you want me, I'm here. Or I say, hey, do you want me to reach out to you regularly? If so, like, what's regularly for you? Like, what. What would you like from me? And then he just shows up, like, of his own own free will. I feel like I very close. I know everything that I would want to know about what's going on with him. Penny Williams [00:26:25]: That's amazing. Tosha Schore [00:26:26]: But that only happens because I get really quiet and sometimes that looks like him Calling me and me coming. If we're in the same house in that moment, me, like, going into his room and sitting there, and I might sit there for 10 or 15 minutes, and he might not say anything. Tosha Schore [00:26:45]: Yeah. Tosha Schore [00:26:46]: And that can feel, like you said, listening to the silence can feel uncomfortable. I'm not uncomfortable with it anymore because I recognize that he wants me there and my presence is plenty. And that when he's ready, he'll share what he wants to share. And inevitably, that is what happens. And oftentimes at the end, it looks like silence again. And. And I say, you know, are you wanting me to stay here still? I'm happy to stay here. Would you like me to stay here? Or I'll often say, like. Tosha Schore [00:27:13]: Or are you done with me? You know? And, like, he'll be like, I'm done with you. You can go. Okay. And then I go. And like, there you have it. Tosha Schore [00:27:22]: Yeah. Yeah. Penny Williams [00:27:24]: My kid even comes to me when I don't know anything's wrong now. And he says, can we talk? And he wants, you know, you to turn off whatever you're doing. And, like, look at him, even though, like, eye contact is not his thing, but he wants to know, like, do I have your full attention? Because what I'm about to tell you is important. Or, you know what. What I need you for is really important. Tosha Schore [00:27:46]: I love that. Penny Williams [00:27:46]: And that's everything. Like, instead of stewing and exploding, right? He's seeking at least a regulated presence or somebody who just will listen and say, I see you. I get it. Tosha Schore [00:28:00]: Right? And he's like a man now asking for help. And that's coming back to my mission. Right? That's how we create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time. It is so important that we teach our boys to ask for help. And that doesn't mean going like, hey, I need you to ask for help, like, when you need it. It looks like these examples that we've been talking about, it looks all kinds of different ways depending on your child and depending on their age and all of the things. But how beautiful that now you have this emotionally intelligent man who understands that when he's struggling, it's a great idea to reach out, and he knows that there's somebody there that he can reach out to. Like, that would be my wish for every young boy as he grows into a man. Penny Williams [00:28:46]: Totally. Tosha Schore [00:28:47]: Yeah. Penny Williams [00:28:48]: Seeking connection, Right? It's seeking connection in those times. Not necessarily seeking help or advice or guidance, but just connection has a lot of power. Tosha Schore [00:28:59]: Yeah. And not feeling shame in needing or wanting that connection or help if they need it and not feeling like they need to figure it out on their own because that's when we get into trouble. Penny Williams [00:29:11]: We could talk about this for a very long time, but we're already out of time. This is our bite size lesson in the healing power of emotions. But I want you, Tasha, to tell everybody where can they connect with you online, where they can get your book, all of these things. Tosha Schore [00:29:30]: Yeah. So I. Well, I don't know when this is going to go live, but I have a website, parentingvoicepeacefully.com and so if you want to go there, I have a 10 day reconnect. That's just a great way for you to either start connecting or deepen your connection with your sweet boy. So that would be a great place to get started. Yeah. And the book you can just find wherever books are sold. Penny Williams [00:29:59]: Pretty standard, right? Tosha Schore [00:30:00]: Yeah. Penny Williams [00:30:01]: I'll link it up for everybody in the show notes at parentingadhd and autism.com 322 for episode 322. Tasha, I always feel a little bit lighter talking to you and a lot more hopeful for our boys and just for all of humanity, honestly. And I appreciate that. And I appreciate the work that you're doing for our boys so that they can feel and not be shamed and you know, that's where they're gonna have a fulfilling life. And so I just appreciate you so much. Tosha Schore [00:30:35]: Thank you. That means a lot to me. I do. I think of myself as kind of a injector of hope. So when I know that it's working, that makes me feel really good because I do feel like the situation is hopeful and it's a hard time right now. But there's so much we can do as parents of young boys or as parents of anybody to help life go better for them, for our family and for the bigger world out there. Penny Williams [00:30:57]: Love it. I will see everybody next time. Take good care. I see you. Penny Williams [00:31:05]: You're doing hard and meaningful work and you don't have to do it alone. If you found this episode helpful, share it with someone who needs it and leave a quick review so others can find this support too. When you're ready for next steps, the Regulated Kids Project is here with the tools, coaching and community to help you raise a more regulated, resilient child. Get more info at Regulated Kids Combination.