026: How to Create a Parenthood that Works for Raising Kids with ADHD, by Ignoring Traditional Parenting Norms
hosted by Penny Williams
Listen on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spreaker | Spotify | iHeart Radio
In this episode of the podcast, I’m talking about why traditional parenting norms don’t work for kids with ADHD, and how to create a parenthood that works for your kid. Here are the steps I talk about in detail in this episode:
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- Destroy traditional parenting ideals and norms. Cast them out of your mind.They don’t work for ADHD.
- How to be a detective and learn your child’s truth.
- Use that truth as your guide to rewrite the plan for your parenthood, being sure expectations are developmentally appropriate, and respect who your child truly is.
- Focus on the positive more than the negative. Create opportunities for success, and for building confidence. (Many kids with ADHD feel they are “stupid,” “bad,” or “broken” and this helps to counter that.)
- Don’t expect the “norm,” and don’t expect perfection.
Some of this episode overlaps with episode 017: Throw Out the Traditional Parenting Rulebook. That’s how crucial and powerful this lesson is — that I repeatedly talk about it. 🙂
Resources
Some of the resources may be affiliate links, meaning I receive a commission (at no cost to you) if you use that link to make a purchase.
Dr. Dodson on the ADHD Brain and what motivates it.
ImpactADHD on “should-ing” on yourself and your child.
Diane Dempster: The Healthy Way to Make Mistakes
Chusy Jardine’s TEDx talk about ADHD and Late Blooming
Raising Human Beings, by Ross Greene, Ph.D.
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Hello!
I'm Penny Williams.
Host of Beautifully Complex. I help stuck and struggling parents (educators, too) make the pivots necessary to unlock success and joy for neurodivergent kids and teens, themselves, and their families. I'm honored to be part of your journey!
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About the show...
I'm your host, Penny.
Join me as I help parents, caregivers, and educators like you harness the realization that we are all beautifully complex and marvelously imperfect. Each week I deliver insights and actionable strategies on parenting neurodivergent kids — those with ADHD, autism, anxiety, learning disabilities…
My approach to decoding behavior while honoring neurodiversity and parenting the individual child you have will provide you with the tools to help you understand and transform behavior, reduce your own stress, increase parenting confidence, and create the joyful family life you crave. I am honored to have helped thousands of families worldwide to help their kids feel good so they can do good.
Listen on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | iHeart Radio
I’m loving your podcasts. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
I was introduced to Dr Greene’s way of parenting a few years ago, which I love and makes sense, but when it comes to Plan B impulsivity ruins it every time. For example, you come up with a plan…the next time you get frustrated at your sister, you will walk away and read your book, instead of hit. Great plan B. It never works because in the heat of the moment, his impulsivity and intensity takes over. Whack! He hit AGAIN. Any tips of having success with this?
Create more incremental steps to your plan B. First, his goal is not to speak to her angrily or rudely. When he can do that more often than not, the goal moves to stepping back from her, or asking her to politely walk away. Then, goal met, now work on going to his room and reading a book. I think you have too big of a leap. And, remember, it has to be something your son thinks he can do. When you find the goal wasn’t realistic, you come back together and problem solve again and again until you have a plan that’s attainable.