Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:00:03]: So much of what we teach is trial and error. What's going to work? How often are we going to try it? Is this sensory strategy going to work today or are we going to try some heavy work tomorrow? So being consistent and trying different things, it sounds kind of counterintuitive, but be consistent while trying new things to really find out what's going to work best for that given day, hour, minute, it's really helpful to just keep that in mind.

Penny Williams [00:00:30]: Welcome to the Beautifully Complex podcast, where I share insights and strategies on parenting neurodivergent kids straight from the trenches. I'm your host, Penny Williams. I'm a parenting coach, author, and mindset mama, honored to guide you on the journey of raising your atypical kid. Let's get started.

Penny Williams [00:00:52]: Welcome back to the Beautifully complex Podcast. I am super excited today to be joined by Rachel Harrington and Jessica Hill from Harkla. And we're going to talk about sensory strategies for self regulation, which is such a huge topic in our neurodivergent world of parenting because our kids struggle with self regulation, right? We have to work harder to teach those skills, and we're always looking for tips and tools and activities. So I'm really excited for you all to be here and just sharing some of that really good wisdom and some actionable ideas for our parents. But I want to start. Will you all introduce yourselves and let everybody know who you are and what you do?

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:01:39]: Thank you for having us. We appreciate it. I'll go first. I'm Rachel Harrington. I am a pediatric occupational therapy assistant. I am a mom of two young children, and I am just obsessed with the sensory system, and I'm so happy to be here and share all the things.

And I am Jessica, and I'm also a certified occupational therapy assistant. I am the mother of a nine year old boy who is wild and crazy, and he's a little bit of a sensory seeker. So we're always using different sensory strategies at our house. But both Rachel and I have worked in outpatient pediatric clinics for we did that for seven years before we joined Harkla. And now we work for Harkla with creating content for parents and therapists and educators who have children who work with children. And then I also just recently went back into the clinic part time, so I'm kind of back into that OT treatment world after being out for about two years. So that's kind of what we do.

Penny Williams [00:02:46]: And Harkla, for anybody who doesn't know, I know Harkla as selling sensory products. Is there anything else? Because I know Harkla has been growing and growing.

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:02:56]: Yes. Ever since we joined the team. We have brought not only the product side of it because they were doing the product side to begin with, so compression swings and weighted blankets and pea pods and just all these amazing sensory products. And now we have our podcast through Harkla. We have digital courses on primitive reflexes and sensory integration and a few other topics. We've got an amazing blog. We have a newsletter that goes out. We have a lot of great free resources, including a YouTube channel just to give parents, therapists and educators free resources as well as paid resources that kind of go into more detail and get more bang for your buck that way.

Penny Williams [00:03:40]: Awesome. Growing and growing for sure. So exciting. I want to start kind of with the basics. Let's talk about the basics of sensory and the basics of self regulation for anybody who's new to all of this.

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:03:53]: Yeah, so we always like to remind people that we all have a sensory system. We are all sensory beings. We all experience sensory input 24/7 even when we're sleeping and we don't realize it. And we also just like to educate everyone that there's actually eight senses. We all learn about the main five ones in school. But there's actually three hidden senses that are also very important, especially when it comes to self regulation. So those three hidden senses, your vestibular system is located in your inner ear. It helps us identify position in space. Are we upside down? Are we turning? Are we tracking?

Penny Williams [00:04:36]: Visually?

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:04:37]: It's connected to our visual and auditory system as well. It plays a big role in arousal level and how alert we are. Whereas the proprioceptive system is kind of the all grounding system and we have receptors located in our muscles and our tendons and our joints. And it helps us identify really where we are in space and when we provide that proprioceptive input, generally for most of the population, that input is calming and organizing. And then the last hidden sense is the interoceptive system. And this one really connects that internal emotional regulation, emotional awareness with those internal body senses recognizing need to go to the bathroom to eat more? Are you thirsty? Do you feel hot? Do you feel cold? So really identifying what's going on internally as well as that connection to the emotion.

Penny Williams [00:05:30]: Yeah, and I think the interoception piece is the one that we really miss. My son is almost 21 now, but when he was young, he was the proprioceptive kid. He was bouncing off of walls, ceilings, furniture, upside down constantly. Like he really needed a lot of proprioceptive input. And so I learned about that from our OT. I'd never heard of it, I had no idea what it was, but it explained so much. It was the biggest AHA moment for me just to explain what's going on for him, why he's constantly moving and bumping and crashing. But even then we never talked about interoception. I didn't learn about that until much later. And it really is so valuable for self regulation because our body is constantly giving us signals. But I think a lot of our neurodivergent kids, even a lot of adults, I think aren't very tuned into those signals.

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:06:22]: And what's important to keep in mind are those three hidden senses are kind of the near senses, as we like to call it, whereas the five typical senses are kind of the far senses. And so people who are neurodivergent are generally like they crave that input that is near to them, the probe, the vestibular and the interoceptive input. You don't really crave interoception, but you're a little more honed into it, whereas they're a little bit more oversensitive to those far senses. So the bright lights and the loud sounds and all the visual overwhelming input. So I think that's something to keep in mind as well. And then with that interoceptive sense, that connection to emotional awareness as well. And so that plays into our self regulation, which we're going to chat about too.

Penny Williams [00:07:04]: Yeah, so let's talk about what is self regulation.

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:07:07]: So ultimately as we go throughout our day, we are processing all of this sensory input that's coming at us from our clothes, from our surroundings, from our movement. And what happens is if our brain and our body can't process some of that sensory input or all of that sensory input, we become overstimulated or overwhelmed. And that is going to affect your ability to feel calm and confident and feel good in your own skin. And so when we talk about self regulation, we need to talk about sensory processing because it plays such an important role. And then also if you feel hungry or if you feel tired or if you're in pain, that's also going to affect your ability to feel good in your body. So when a child is dysregulated and they're having meltdowns and they're struggling in that area, we want to look at why is this happening? There's a reason for it, even if it's difficult to find, but there's a reason for it. So we like to say we put on our sensory goggles and identify the different sensory components that the child is struggling with.

Penny Williams [00:08:19]: I love that sensory goggles. We talk about Detective Hat all the time on our side of it. I love sensory goggles. It's so important because a lot of times it is difficult to know. You really do have to dive deeper to figure out what that underlying cause is, right? And then I wondered if maybe you could give us some examples of what Dysregulation might look like for a parent. If their kid is having some challenging behaviors, how do they know if it's Dysregulation?

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:08:49]: That's a good question because it keeps our job interesting. Because it can look so different for so many kiddos. And thinking with our sensory goggles on, it can be sensory overload from bright lights, loud sounds, too much vestibular input, too much swinging. Yesterday our babysitter was spinning. My son in the swing and he generally doesn't love to spin and he got really upset and really sad afterwards. And so most people aren't going to think, oh well, they were spinning too much so that made them Dysregulated. But me, I'm like, oh gosh, you were spinning him. He's going to be really mad. Vestibular input is a big one where we can see Dysregulation come from, we can see aggression. That happens to me after I spin too much. I get angry later on and you can see these adverse reactions up to 4 hours after this sensory input. So that's what makes it tricky is it's not just black and white. The same thing for every child. You can spin a child and they get excited and then they're happy and it wakes them up. And then you follow that with some proprioceptive input and they're good to go. But for some kiddos, you get a little bit too much input and they're completely disorganized. They're melting down, they're crying, they're upset, they're sick, they're frustrated, they're too happy and too excited and too silly where they can't focus so that Dysregulation can look so different for every child. But I think the biggest thing is when the child is just uncomfortable in their own skin and maybe they can't explain why they're feeling upset or what's bothering them. We can really identify that. Okay, let's look at the sensory world. Let's see what's going on sensory wise and see if we can kind of remove that or add something to it to help get you to more organized state.

Penny Williams [00:10:33]: Yeah. Under our work, under the behavior revolution, we talk all the time about how you have to feel good to do good, you have to feel comfortable and connected, which is regulated. Right. We have to feel basically we have to be regulated in order to do well is what we're saying. And I think this is really tying the sensory pieces of Dysregulation into that. When our kids are Dysregulated, it's really hard for them to get things done, to maybe speak with kindness to others, like all of these things. I think a lot of times parents don't connect that mood piece to sensory Dysregulation or other Dysregulation. But everything is a signal. Everything is signaling us of something. Right.

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:11:18]: And that's one of those common questions that we get. Is it sensory or is it behavior? Well, all behavior is communication in some sort and generally it's both. And if the child continues to melt down and have a difficult time just being happy, even with some sensory modifications, you can likely identify that it is probably sensory. And if it's a behavior to a preferred item or a non preferred item and you quote unquote give in and that behavior stops and you can likely identify that. Yeah, they're using their behavior as a way to communicate their wants and their needs, which is normal and it's okay to be able to do that.

Penny Williams [00:11:56]: Yeah. And we're not saying that all Dysregulation is bad or that Dysregulation is something that we should avoid. It's going to happen. I think it's part of the human experience. Right. That we get dysregulated sometimes and we work on being regulated and aware and mindful and those sort of things. So what can we do to help kids with some of these sensory areas? Like how do we help kids grow their sensory toolbox? Figuring out first, I guess, what even works for your specific kid, because every kid's different. What's the first step there?

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:12:33]: Yeah, well, I like that you brought up that it's okay to be dysregulated. It happens to all of us. And I think that's the first piece of communicating with your child. We're not going to be happy twenty four seven, and it's okay to feel sad or mad or overwhelmed. That's okay. We all experience it, but it's what we do with it that matters. And so the first step is just identifying emotions throughout the day and saying I feel and modeling it too as the parent. So you can say, I feel really anxious when I hear a fire truck go by because the sound is so loud. It makes me feel kind of anxious. How does it make you feel? And then identifying emotions in yourself and asking your child how certain things make them feel as well to identify their own emotions. Because ultimately these children are going to grow up and we want them to have the tools to be independent with these self regulation strategies. And so we need to teach them those emotions and how different things affect their emotions and their body. Yeah, I would say going along with that, the next thing would be to add visual tools. So we love the program, the Zones of Regulation. It's a great visual tool for kiddos to identify their feelings, their emotions, and then we can add sensory strategies on top of that. So I like to connect zones of regulation with a tool like Brainworks from Sensational Brain, which has like sensory diet activity cards. So you can pair that, I'm feeling frustrated, I'm in the yellow zone. And then you already have worked through and identified these sensory strategies that help you when you are feeling in the yellow zone. So then the child can pick I like using the steamroller activity and I like chewing gum when I'm frustrated. So then you can help them to identify, okay, would you like to do the steamroller or chew gum first? And it's not going to be perfect, it's not going to be pretty most of the time. But the more that you can practice and build those skills and they have that understanding of these are the zones that I'm in, this is how I'm feeling, these are the sensory strategies that I prefer to use when I'm feeling this way. It builds and it builds and it builds. And the more you practice, the more independent they get with those strategies. And then at the same know, we want to have those strategies. Like Rachel said, for when the child is starting to feel frustrated. But we also want to be proactive with our sensory strategies to use sensory activities to meet the child's sensory needs throughout the day, so that when they do become overwhelmed or dysregulated, maybe it's not as big or as much as it was before because they've been using sensory strategies proactively throughout the day to feel better instead of just dysregulated all day long.

Penny Williams [00:15:24]: Right. And I think, too, we have to mention that kids change. And so sometimes what works for them at one age may make them irate later on or vice versa. And so just being open minded right about this isn't working now, but it doesn't mean that it might not work later.

Penny Williams [00:17:11]: And the other thing I wanted to make sure we talk about is that you can't teach when your kid is super dysregulated. If they're already what I call over the cliff, it's not teachable. They just have to recover. Then you can talk about what happened and maybe a sensory strategy they could try next time. Right?

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:17:30]: Yeah, absolutely. That's a huge part of it. It's like when they are dysregulated and frustrated and in that red zone, they're in that fight or flight. They're really just trying to survive and move on, but they're not in their rational brain. And so trying to explain to them, that wasn't a good choice that you made, let's try to do this next time. It won't sink in. They're not going to retain that information. It might even make it worse. True. And oftentimes when kiddos are in that state, the less talking that you do, the better, because like Rachel said, they're not in their rational brain in that moment. And this is true for adults know the more maybe visual assistance you can provide in those moments, it's a little bit easier because that talking piece is much more difficult when you're dysregulated. And when your child is frustrated, yeah.

Penny Williams [00:18:18]: It'S just the time to be quiet. Really. That's what we teach is there's no talking during meltdowns because their thinking brain is offline, right. The Dysregulation has taken over and they can't process it. I call myself the great rationalizer that's the parent I was, I just wanted to talk him out of everything, right? Talk him down. It never worked. It always made it worse. And I couldn't understand it until I understood the autonomic nervous system and fight, flight, freeze and shutdown a lot better. And what that equates to in the brain, right. When that happens, then I was like, oh, well, duh. No wonder. From now on, I need to zip it. And that was so much better. Just knowing when your child is in those different states is so helpful as a parent to be what they need from us in those moments.

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:19:08]: And I'm so similar because I kind of want to do that same thing with my son. When he's getting frustrated or mad, I want to talk him out of it and help. But it is one of those things that we have discovered that when he's in those moments, he needs to go take a break. Either he needs to go outside or he needs to go take a break in his room and he'll come out ten minutes later and then we can talk about it. So one of our strategies that we like is having a cozy corner or a sensory corner, a safe space for the child to go into when they are in that Dysregulated state. And maybe there's some weighted items or some music or some visual tools in this space that they can use to help just decompress and get out of that state of fight or flight and just come back down. Yeah. I do want to piggyback on what we were chatting about earlier. You mentioned that their sensory needs can change and their behavior can change. They go through puberty and they grow up and they hit different phases of their life, or it's just a Thursday and things are different, right. So much of what we teach is trial and error, right? What's going to work? How often are we going to try it? Is this sensory strategy going to work today or are we going to try some heavy work tomorrow? So being consistent and trying different things, it sounds kind of counterintuitive. Try new things, trial and error, but be consistent. But be consistent while trying new things to really find out what's going to work best for that given day, hour, minute, it's really helpful to just keep that in mind. But also the more that you practice it with your child when they are in a more regulated place and you role play and you use pictures and stories to practice these different situations, and the more tools that they have, then it might be a little bit easier in the moment to choose something that will work for that specific situation.

Penny Williams [00:21:04]: Right. Yeah. It seems like there's a lot of sort of mapping it out. This is what it looks like when my child is in fight or flight. This is what it looks like when they're in freezer shutdown and what's going to help in those different areas for my specific kid. And I think occupational therapists like yourselves can help so much with just figuring out where are your kids sensory struggles, what do they need more of, what do they need less of? Why is this happening? It explains a lot of the behavior, but it also gives you sort of that foundation to do this sort of thing from right. To understand. Like, for instance, my kid, he was a proprioceptive kid. He needed that input, but he really avoided swings and they had to really work a lot on getting him more comfortable with swinging, which is, I believe, vestibular. Right. Understanding the different sensory areas, but also just your child's sensory profile can help so much just to lay the groundwork for what we're talking about with working with our kids at home and at school.

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:22:14]: Yeah. So for your son, then it would be swinging would probably not have been a good strategy when he was Dysregulated because it was such a hard thing for him to process. But for another kid, swinging might be the most regulating thing they can do throughout the day. So absolutely you need to identify your child's sensory preferences, what sensory activities do they love to do, because those are going to be some really great tools to use when they are Dysregulated, because they love to do those activities because it helps them feel regulated.

Penny Williams [00:22:48]: Can we maybe talk about some specific tools or activities for specific sensory areas? Like I know. Proprioceptive input. We're talking about weighted input, heavy work input, weighted blankets, those sort of things. Can we sort of go through a few different areas and talk about a few different tools?

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:23:07]: Totally. We'll start with that proprioceptive system. That's my favorite system just because it is so regulating. Some of my go to chewing gum for the first one, because you do have those receptors in your jaw and a lot of our oral seekers crave that input to their jaw. So they'll chew on things. And using chewing gum is a great one for the whole body. Things like animal walks and crawling, push ups. And then you have that deep touch pressure from the weighted blankets and the compression shirts, ankle weights or wrist weights. Vibration is always a good tool as well. We love vibration. It could be very alerting for some kiddos or it can be very calming for some kiddos as well. So for the proprioceptive system, we want to think about anything that's providing that compression or stretching of the joints and muscles is generally going to be organizing. And then if we look at the vestibular system. Vestibular input is very often alerting, and for many kids, it's overstimulating or they struggle to process that input. So swinging might not be a great option, but again, for other kids, swinging in, like, the Harcla compression swing or a hammock type swing might be the most regulating thing they can do throughout the day. And they will just swing for hours if you let them. I don't use vestibular input as a self regulation strategy. Most of the time, what I would use vestibular input more is throughout the day to provide them with that vestibular input that their body needs as more of like a proactive strategy. Especially for our sensory seekers, giving them more of it throughout the day can help them self regulate a little bit easier.

Penny Williams [00:24:48]: Yes.

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:24:48]: So things like swinging, things like somersaults log rolling windmills, so your head is looking up and then it's looking down while you're crossing midline. Anything that provides that head position change is going to provide that vestibular input, which can either be very alerting and exciting, or it can be very dysregulating. So one key thing to remember when you're providing any vestibular input is to make sure you follow up with that proprioceptive input. So we wake up their body, we swing, we do windmills, we log roll, and then we crawl slowly with a weighted blanket on our back, forwards and backwards. Or we do a couple of wall push ups. So we're giving them that proprioceptive input that's very organizing to kind of counteract that high intensity vestibular input.

Penny Williams [00:25:33]: Yeah. And just as you were talking about doing the windmills, I felt dysregulated because I am like a motion sickness person. Like, I can't spin. And just thinking about it actually gave me a little jolt in my body. Crazy. Yeah. And again, that's like, hey, your body's telling you something. Right? And we need to listen to what our bodies are telling us. What about building that sense, building interoception?

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:26:01]: So the interoceptive system is really cool because it's not something you can necessarily tap into and directly impact. So we like things like mindfulness, deep breathing, yoga exercises and practice. We also like working on temperature awareness. So hot water, cold water, ice cubes. We like to work on the emotional awareness. So using, like, a program similar to zones of regulation I already mentioned this earlier, but just identifying those emotions throughout the day is really going to be helpful for all of the kids, for us as adults and parents, to model that emotional awareness, that emotional intelligence. And then you can even play games. Like, if you're at the grocery store, you can very quietly point to somebody in the grocery store and say, hey, look at their face and their body. What do you think they're feeling right now? If you're using the zones, you can say, do you think that person's in the green zone or the yellow zone? And kind of play a game of using body language and facial expressions to identify those emotions as well. The vestibular system is directly connected to the interceptive system. So for things like going to the bathroom, some kiddos who struggle with potty training or recognizing when they need to go to the bathroom, that's that interceptive system. It could be. And so we like to use vestibular input, like swinging it, or to increase their awareness of that internal body sense that they need to go to the bathroom. That's a big one, right?

Penny Williams [00:27:29]: Yeah, I think that's a big one for a lot of our families who are listening, for sure. And I just want to kind of wrap this up with a bow somehow because we're giving out so much information, right. And I tend to overwhelm parents a lot with information and stuff. And I just think taking a step back now and saying, okay, as a parent who's listening, what can I do later today to help my kid in this area? What's one thing that I can start with?

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:27:58]: I'll go first. I'll say the first thing would be to identify your sensory preferences as the adult. I think it's so important to understand what makes you tick, what makes you feel overwhelmed once you recognize, oh my gosh, when there's so many noises going on, I feel like I'm going to scream. But no, your sensory system is overloaded. So if you can identify your triggers, what you love, what you don't love, then you can empathize with your child and you can help them. It's like the oxygen mask, right? You can't help your child until you put your own oxygen mask on. So I think that would be my number one. After all this information, identify your sensory preferences and then you'll further be able to help your child understand theirs and help them regulate. I think mine is to just get down on your child's level, empathize with them and try to better understand where they're coming from, right. So when they're having a meltdown and they're dysregulated get down with them, co regulate with them, be their safe space so that you can provide them with the opportunity to feel calm and safe. But that starts with connection, so you have to first be able to connect with them. And one of my favorite things to do is to literally get down on their level. I kneel down or I sit on the floor so that I'm even below their eye level versus standing above them and towering over them because that can be dysregulating in and of itself. So I get down low, my voice is a lot quieter, my body is just very calm and still and just providing that opportunity for them to take my calm energy and feed off of that. And it's hard, especially in the moment, it's really hard. But if you can practice it in the good moments, it'll be a little bit easier. To do it in the hard moments.

Penny Williams [00:29:49]: Yeah. Co regulation and connection are key to everything, I think. I love that you ended there. Yeah.

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:29:54]: That connection piece is so important because if your child doesn't feel a connection with you, which happens sometimes, if they don't feel a connection with you, they're not going to trust you to be their safe space or if they don't feel safe with yeah.

Penny Williams [00:30:08]: Safety is important too. That felt sense of safety that we talk about so often. I want to make sure that everyone listening knows how to connect with Harkla, and I am going to link that up in the show notes, which are at parentingadhdandautism.com/231 for episode 231. We'll have a link there to the website. All of the resources, I'm sure, are linked up there as well. We'll link up your social media. We'll also link up some of the resources that we've talked about during the episode. So I really encourage everyone to check out the show notes here because we've talked about a lot of things and we'll be able to link you up to a lot of that there. Any last thoughts before we close?

Rachel Harrington, COTA/L, AC [00:30:50]: I don't think so. You've got this. And it's just a wonderful world to be in, to have your sensory goggles on and to view everything with a sensory lens. I just think I'm obsessed with it and I hope everyone listening starts to realize how impactful the sensory system really is.

Penny Williams [00:31:09]: Yeah. Thank you all so much. I appreciate having you here and you sharing your expertise and some of your time, and I know it's going to help so many families, so I really appreciate that and I will see everyone next time. Take good care.

Penny Williams [00:31:24]: Thanks for joining me on the beautifully complex podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share. And don't forget to check out my online courses and parent coaching at parentingadhdandautism.com and at thebehaviorrevolution.com.