067: What Never Meeting Expectations Does to Kids with ADHD
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Never meeting expectations means our kids with ADHD and/or autism feel like they never succeed. That is a heavy burden that can take a monumental toll on any individual. In this episode, I outline all the repercussions possible when a child feels like they never succeed and what you can do to keep the worst of the consequences from happening to your child.Â
Resources
Some of the resources may be affiliate links, meaning I receive a commission (at no cost to you) if you use that link to make a purchase.
List of Lagging Skills, by Ross Greene, Ph.D.
Toxic Stress on Kids at School:Â Nowhere to Hide by Jerome Schultz, Ph.D.
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Host of Beautifully Complex. I help stuck and struggling parents (educators, too) make the pivots necessary to unlock success and joy for neurodivergent kids and teens, themselves, and their families. I'm honored to be part of your journey!

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Transforming negative or unwanted behavior is a long and complex process. HOWEVER, there are a few actions you can take right now that will provide a big impact. These 3 high-impact strategies address foundational aspects of behavior, empowering you to help your child feel better so they can do better.
Makes time visual.
Manage chores and routines while building self-confidence and independence.
Blends gaming with off-screen activities to teach coping skills through play.
A chair that gives kids a sensory hug.
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I have been listening and really educating myself on adhd as my son who is just 6 has. He just started first grade and we started a non stimulate med three weeks ago. We had a teacher meeting and he is the only kid in his class who is not up to first grade expectations. It is very true that he emotionally and socially is a year or two behind but is very smart. We considered holding him back in kindergarten but teacher said he will be bored. I feel badly that he may be a stand out in class and he does not want to even go. I am struggling with what to do, getting an iep or 504 in place seems very confusing and difficult. Any suggestions?
Thank you for your podcasts!
Intelligence has nothing to do with functioning — they’re two different parts of the brain. ADHD impairs functioning, especially in school where kids are asked to sit still and attend for long hours in a distracting and overwhelming environment that assumes they are all neurotypical. If he’s not at grade level, he needs a 504 plan or IEP. I would request the IEP first, because it’s much more robust, and settle for a 504 plan if he’s not approved for an IEP. Here’s a step-by-step guide: https://www.additudemag.com/iep-step-1-document-the-warning-signs/.