319: Using Music for Emotional Regulation, with Samantha Foote
with Guest Samantha Foote
Listen on Apple Podcasts | Spreaker | Spotify | iHeart Radio
What if the secret to helping your child regulate their emotions… is already playing on your speakers?
In this episode, I’m joined by board-certified music therapist and fellow neurodivergent mom, Samantha Foote, to explore how music can be a powerful (and joyful!) regulation tool for kids with ADHD, autism, and other complex needs. We chat about everything from angry drumming sessions between siblings to writing silly blues songs to cueing transitions with the right rhythm.
Samantha shares how rhythm is hardwired into our bodies — and how we can use that to our advantage when emotions run high. Whether your kid calms to classical, beatboxes their stress away, or creates heavy metal drum loops on an iPad, this episode is packed with practical ways to make music work for your beautifully complex child.
Listen now and discover how one song could be the bridge between chaos and calm.
Music isn’t just entertainment, it’s a language of the nervous system. For kids who struggle with emotional regulation, it can offer something that words often fail to deliver: connection, safety, and self-expression.
Samantha Foote knows this intimately. A neurodivergent mom of three neurodivergent kids and a board-certified music therapist, she sees rhythm not as a background beat but as a regulating force. “Rhythm is innate in our bodies,” she explains. “Your heartbeat, your breath — it’s all rhythm. Music can tap into that and bring the nervous system back into balance.”
Foote uses music therapy to help kids move through emotions that might otherwise get them stuck in meltdown or shutdown. She describes a session with two fighting siblings who were given drums instead of lectures. What started as loud, angry pounding turned into a calm, shared rhythm… and then, a conversation. It’s co-regulation through creativity.
The versatility is remarkable. Some kids thrive with classical melodies; others need the crashing pulse of heavy metal. Foote urges parents to ditch assumptions and tune into what actually works for their child. Her own son, who once couldn’t tolerate music at all, now finds comfort in unexpected songs. The key is curiosity.
Even tech can be therapeutic. Apps like Launchpad or Incredibox allow kids to create beats that match their emotional state, and shift it. Research even supports that beatboxing may enhance language development, making it especially useful for non-speaking children.
For parents overwhelmed by daily stressors, Foote offers this simple suggestion: build in one musical break a day. Whether it’s a dance party during cleanup or a quiet ukulele strum during dysregulation, music can be both a tool and a tether. And as she emphasizes, preparation is everything. Music is most powerful when it’s part of a proactive plan, not a last-ditch effort mid-crisis.
At its heart, music is about connection. And for many neurodivergent kids, it’s a bridge back to themselves, and to the people who love them.
3 Key Takeaways
Music taps into our body’s natural rhythms, helping kids move through intense emotions and into a more regulated state.
The same song can offer different emotional experiences to different kids — what calms one child might overwhelm another, so personalization is key.
Tech tools like beat-making apps can provide creative, regulating outlets for emotional expression.
how to use music and rhythm to support co-regulation
ways to match your child’s emotional state through sound, not words
strategies to reduce transitions struggles with musical cues
how to help kids process anger or overwhelm through drumming or song
how to use apps and tech as emotionally supportive tools, not just distractions
Some of the resources may be affiliate links, meaning I receive a commission (at no cost to you) if you use that link to make a purchase.
Garageband app
Launchpad app
Incredibox app
Mad Libs Songs with Stephanie Leavell
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Samatha Foote
Samantha is a neurodivergent, board-certified music therapist, Positive Discipline Parent Consultant, and mother to three autistic children. She empowers parents of neurodivergent children to feel confident, supported, and informed as they navigate the unique journey of raising their children. Through compassionate guidance and evidence-based strategies, she aims to foster understanding, celebrate neurodiversity, and help families thrive.
[00:00:02] Samantha Foote: So rhythm is innate in our bodies. Like, our bodies are rhythmic—your heartbeat, your breathing, all of it's rhythm. And there's actually this thing in neurologic music therapy where rhythm can prime your brain for different actions.
[00:00:20] Samantha Foote: So if you have a stroke or apraxia, it can prime your brain to do those actions that it wouldn’t be able to do by itself. Rhythm is super cool.
[00:00:31] Penny Williams: Welcome to Beautifully Complex, where we unpack what it really means to parent neurodivergent kids with dignity and clarity. I’m Penny Williams, and I know firsthand how tough—and transformative—this journey can be. Let’s dive in and discover how to raise regulated, resilient, beautifully complex kids together. And if you want more support, join our free community at hub.beautifullycomplex.life.
[00:01:01] Penny Williams: Welcome back, everyone, to Beautifully Complex. I am really excited to be talking to Samantha Foote today about the role of music and music therapy in emotional regulation in parenting neurodivergent kids—even, I think, in the human experience, honestly, for everyone.
[00:01:26] Penny Williams: We’re going to have a wonderful conversation that I think is really going to empower those of you who are listening to integrate music more—and to seek out therapeutic ways to use music as a tool for fostering emotional regulation.
[00:01:46] Penny Williams: Samantha, will you start by letting everybody know who you are and what you do?
[00:01:51] Samantha Foote: Yeah. So I am neurodivergent. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, and I’m also a mom to three kids diagnosed with ADHD, autism, and auditory processing disorder. Lots of other things. I’ve been a board-certified music therapist for about 14 years, and I work mostly with neurodivergent kids—also with adults—mainly on communication, social skills, and emotional regulation.
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[00:28:57] Penny Williams: Take good care.
[00:29:00] Penny Williams: I see you. You’re doing hard and meaningful work and you don’t have to do it alone. If you found this episode helpful, share it with someone who needs it and leave a quick review so others can find this support too. When you’re ready for next steps, the Regulated Kids Project is here with the tools, coaching and community to help you raise a more regulated, resilient child. Get more info at regulatedkids.com.
I help stuck and struggling parents (educators, too) make the pivots necessary to unlock success and joy for neurodivergent kids and teens, themselves, and their families. I'm honored to be part of your journey!
Host of Beautifully Complex. I help stuck and struggling parents (educators, too) make the pivots necessary to unlock success and joy for neurodivergent kids and teens, themselves, and their families. I'm honored to be part of your journey!
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But chaos, meltdowns, and last-minute scrambling don’t have to come with it.
Back to School Prep Week is your 5-day, done-with-you plan to get your routines, supports, and emotional systems in place — before first-day tears, IEP surprises, and sensory overload take over. Prep Week is for parents of neurodivergent kids who want:
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