Penny Williams [00:00:03]: A successful adult must be able to self regulate, and the more emotionally intelligent they are, the more joy they're gonna have, the more good interactions with other people they're gonna have. Right? It's just going to be a more fulfilled life if they are emotionally intelligent. And that's really why I'm focusing the Regulated Kids Project on those two things, regulation and emotional intelligence, and they tie together. Welcome to the Beautifully Complex podcast, where I share insights and strategies on parenting neurodivergent kids straight from the trenches. I'm your host, Penny Williams. I'm a parenting coach, author, and mindset mama, honored to guide you on the journey of raising your atypical kid. Let's get started. Hey there, everyone.

Penny Williams [00:00:55]: Welcome back to Beautifully Complex. I am really excited that you're listening today because I'm talking about something that is so incredibly close to my heart, and I hope is going to be very transformational for your family as well. If you've been a listener for a while, you know that I've spent years coaching parents of neurodivergent kids as I raised my own neurodivergent kid. We've talked about big emotions, meltdowns, so many challenges of parenting kids whose wiring is different, is complex. And sometimes, if I'm being honest, exhausting, frustrating, heartbreaking, all of the things, and I know this because I've been there, I've had those same moments where I felt like I was doing everything and then some, and things still weren't working. The traditional parenting advice wasn't working. My parenting instincts weren't working, and it made me really worried about my kids' future because it was all consuming. Right? You've been there.

Penny Williams [00:02:14]: It can be so all consuming raising complex kids because we just don't know where to start and where to focus and what to prioritize and all of these things. Right? And that's why I am so super excited to announce the grand opening of something that I've really been pouring my heart, my parenting wisdom, and my expertise into. It's called the Regulated Kids Project. It isn't just another parenting course. In fact, it is not a course at all. It's a community. It's a resource library of many lessons, activities, exercises, and discoveries, and a road map to help you teach your kid the regulation and the emotional intelligence skills that they need to succeed in life, for life. We're talking about lifelong skills here.

Penny Williams [00:03:11]: I wanna tell you why I created the regulated kids project so that it makes sense to you why it's so important for parents of really any kid, but especially those of us who have complex kids. Over the years, I've worked with so many parents, parents like you, parents like me, who've tried everything. We've tried timeouts. We've tried sticker charts. We've tried empathy. We've tried rewards, consequences, and even just that hyper vigilance, hoping to avoid the next emotional storm, the next meltdown. And yet, if you're anything like I was for such a long time, the meltdowns just keep coming. But the thing is, we can't be focusing on what's wrong with our complex kids.

Penny Williams [00:04:06]: It's not about that at all. Nothing is wrong with them. It's about helping them successfully navigate this world with their differences. It's about helping them discover and harness that greatness that's within them. They do have greatness within them. It's about setting them up for success for life. We're raising adults. Right? That's our goal.

Penny Williams [00:04:35]: That's our job to grow these kids, to foster happy, healthy adults, whatever that looks like for them. Kids who struggle with dysregulation, I often call it chronic dysregulation. Seems like they're dysregulated more often than they're regulated. They're not giving you a hard time. These behaviors, big behaviors, big emotions, they're not a choice. They're not intentional. Our kids are actually having a hard time. And once I started to understand this role of the nervous system in big emotions and big behaviors, it changed everything for my kid, for me, and for our whole family.

Penny Williams [00:05:24]: Literally, total game changer. You see big emotions to adapt to challenges and to feel safe and supported. When those things happen, things get doable. Connection happens. Tasks happen. Right? Things we enjoy and we want to do happen because, let's face it, some of our kids avoid things they even want to do because they're dysregulated or because they fear the activity might be dysregulating. And so we want to help them to get their nervous system and their brain, their whole body ready to succeed. And that's what focusing on regulation and emotional intelligence does for us.

Penny Williams [00:06:11]: But here's the tricky part. Regulation isn't something that kids automatically learn to do. It's a skill that we have to cocreate with them. It 100% starts with us, the parent, the educator, the adult in that child's life. That's where the Regulated Kids Project comes in to give you the tools, the strategies, the support, the community, the activities, the exercises, the games that will teach these skills to your kid and will also transform your entire family dynamic. So let's walk through what's inside the regulated kids project. It is a membership that is designed 100% with busy, overwhelmed, chaotic parents, families, kids in mind. Okay? I have been where you may very well be right now.

Penny Williams [00:07:12]: Felt like I couldn't possibly take on anything else, but I would have been able to take on these tiny little things, little mini lessons, I'm calling them. And that's why I have designed the Regulated Kids Project in the way that I have so that you can fit it in your life and that it is very focused on intention and implementation. So many parenting courses, You either get too overwhelmed to even finish them, or you finish the learning, but you don't know how to implement it, how to translate it into your life. And this membership is about helping you take small moments to learn, to connect, to do activities and exercise with your kids, to also weave them into your everyday life. Everything that you're already doing, we're gonna weave it into your kids' routines. We're gonna weave it into what your daily schedule looks like. It is going to become part of your normal, and it is designed to be able to do that as simply as possible. So each month, if you are a member in the regular kids project, here's what you're gonna get.

Penny Williams [00:08:30]: Number 1, 4 quick wins lessons. They're bite sized lessons packed with practical tools. Some are for you, the parent or the adult, like strategies to be the calm anchor and how to co regulate, and others are for your kids, like fun exercises and printables to build their self regulation skills and emotional intelligence. They essentially are a an approximately 5 minute video of me talking you through whatever the activity or exercise or cheat sheet or worksheet or journaling prompt, all of these different things are part of our themes each month. And I just record a very short video to tell you about the project, the activity, whatever it is, and to help you understand how to use it and how to implement it. It's very short, very simple, really focusing on incorporating play and fun and engagement and connection in all of these activities. So not only are we building skills, we're also nurturing our kids. We're also fostering that connection that also helps them to be regulated.

Penny Williams [00:09:48]: The second thing inside the Regulate Kids Project is a live community support call every month. We are going to get on Zoom together, you, me, other parents like us of neurodivergent kids, and we're gonna have the chance to connect. We're going to have the chance to troubleshoot challenges in real time, ask questions, celebrate wins because, yes, we celebrate even the smallest successes, and to get encouragement to help you keep going. I am all about parent mindset and how much that can transform your parenting journey, and we will talk a lot about that as well. Each month, you're also going to get 2 prerecorded expert webinars that you can watch on demand whenever it fits into your schedule, and these are completely focused on neurodivergence. So when we have a theme on, say, meltdowns, 1 month, then we're gonna have a couple of expert prerecorded webinars that will be right there in the hub for you, pulled out, sort of curated for you, because they are on that same topic. You can watch them, not watch them. It's totally up to you.

Penny Williams [00:11:04]: But it's going to be there for you whenever you would like to use it. There's also a 247 access to the Loomi bot. Let me explain to you a little bit about Loomi. Lumi is an owl, and she represents regulation. And if you're a member inside regulated kids project, right first in our 1st month in January 2025, you are going to get an activity slash kid lesson about animal instincts. And I have assigned and named an animal for each state of our nervous system so that kids can really understand what is going on inside for them and how to identify how their body is feeling and what that means. Right? They need to also be able to interpret those signals from their body and learn how to use them. And so that's one of the lessons in January.

Penny Williams [00:12:15]: We have these adorable little animal characters. They're loomy, bolt, prickles, and tuck. And I also have a version for teens, young adults that have photographs instead of these illustrations, whatever works for your kid. I'm really trying to be mindful of having kids engage with these activities and also having ways that they feel represented in the different activities, whether that's different age, different gender, different, you know, gender identity, different race, all of those things. I'm really trying to be very conscientious of that as well. And so we have those animals, and they're gonna carry through in a lot of the lessons throughout the regulated kids project. So I'm really excited for you guys to meet them and see them and introduce your kids to them. But that Lumi bot, who was named after Lumi the owl who represents regulated state of our nervous system, is an AI powered bot that is trained by a very large library of expert parenting advice that is completely tailored to neurodivergent kids.

Penny Williams [00:13:25]: So think of it as your little tech parenting assistant. It is there 247, and you can just type in a question. It's going to answer you from that entire library of experts, and it will even give you the references of where it got that information so that you can learn more. And it is almost instantaneous. Within 10 seconds, it starts spitting out the answer to your question. So maybe you have a question at 2 AM about a meltdown strategy. You're either awake at night worrying about it, or maybe your kid's having a meltdown at 2 AM. You can pop into the regulated kids project hub, click the little button to open Loomi, ask your question, and get some expert answers, some expert guidance.

Penny Williams [00:14:14]: The Loomi bot has you covered 247, 365. The 5th thing inside this regulated kids project is a growing resource library. So it's not really a 5th thing. It's this library of lessons, of activities, of games, of printables, of parenting worksheets, and parenting self work is just going to continue to grow and grow and grow. In January 2025, the 1st month that it opens, I have 12 different lessons, activities, exercises, games in there for you. So it's already going to be a library of different opportunities for you and your kid, but it's going to keep growing. So it's really a toolkit for lifelong success. There are things in there that can help you with your struggle right now today, but they're also going to build the skills for life for your kid.

Penny Williams [00:15:13]: Because a successful adult must be able to self regulate, and the more emotionally intelligent they are, the more joy they're gonna have, the more good interactions with other people they're gonna have. Right? It's just going to be a more fulfilled life if they are emotionally intelligent. And that's really why I'm focusing the Regulated Kids Project on those two things, regulation and emotional intelligence, and they tie together. But those are foundational for life success, period. They're foundational to have a life full of joy, and that is why I want to help you build those skills in your kids and for yourselves. Right? Because my generation certainly wasn't focusing on it. I think now our kids, younger kids, like this very newest generation are probably gonna get some of this, but we're still not focusing on teaching these skills as much as we should. And then the last thing inside the regulated kids project is the parent community.

Penny Williams [00:16:17]: We have a full discussion board community right inside the hub. It is only available to members, so anything you post there stays inside that hub. And this was really important to me to incorporate also because connection with other parents who get it, who are traveling a similar parenting path is paramount to your mental and emotional well-being as the parent. You need to be able to interact with, get support from, be heard and seen by other people who get it. Inside that community, we're going to have some accountability because I know that is so helpful to make sure that you're using the lessons and activities. We're also going to celebrate wins. There's a whole board just on celebrating wins and successes. We're gonna share ideas, share things that have worked for us.

Penny Williams [00:17:17]: We're gonna ask for ideas and ask for things that have worked for others, and we're gonna support each other through both the highs and the lows. Plus, I'm gonna give you a little bit more here. We also will have live q and a's with surprise guest experts from time to time. I am lining up some really amazing guests to pop in from time to time. It will be scheduled. There will be some notice to that at least a month in advance for who's going to do a q and a and when it's going to happen. But we will just have some of that. Sometimes it'll be about the theme of the month and regulation and emotional intelligence.

Penny Williams [00:18:00]: Sometimes it'll be about something else that is also related to neurodivergent kids, but may not be related to that month's theme. And that's okay because there's so much more that can be helpful for you also. Right? Not just regulation and emotional intelligence. So let's talk a little bit about what the benefits might be for you. You might be wondering, well, that sounds great, but what does that look like for me? If I join and I start using these lessons and activities with myself and with my kid, what is going to change? Here's what's going to change. For you, the parent, peace of mind, you'll finally have tools that actually work for your complex kid. That's gonna bring you more confidence in your parenting, because you will start to know what to do when your kid's having a meltdown that's actually going to be helpful, because there's so much we can do that isn't helpful. You're gonna learn what to teach your child to prevent meltdowns, because when our kids are more regulated, then we have less dysregulation, and less dysregulation means less likelihood of meltdown.

Penny Williams [00:19:10]: Right? You're also going to build stronger connection. That's stronger connection with your kid, stronger connection within your family, and some connection with other parents who get it, and maybe less overwhelm and less exhaustion. Imagine if you had less power struggles, fewer power struggles in your household. I mean, my brain is going right now thinking about that. Right? And definitely thinking about that when my kids were little. And that's gonna bring you more peace. We all want a peaceful household. Right? We want a peaceful family.

Penny Williams [00:19:49]: This is going to help you to start stepping in that direction. And then the changes that our kids are going to experience are monumental and lifelong, as I have said many, many times. 1, improved regulation skills. They're going to learn to manage big emotions without so much of the intensity, without losing control of what is happening, what they're saying, what their emotions are doing, what their behavior looks like. Right? Increased confidence. With increased confidence, our kids will feel more in control of themselves, in control of their life and what happens to them. And that's going to build a lot of self esteem. When kids feel confident, they are regulated.

Penny Williams [00:20:41]: If you feel confident, think about that. Can you really be confident and dysregulated? My mind is feeling like the answer is no to that. Confidence builds regulation. Your kids are also going to have better relationships. As they regulate better, they'll connect more easily with siblings, with peers, with family, with everyone in their life. And I know this sounds cliche, but they're also going to have a brighter future because these skills are going to help them socially, emotionally, academically for their lifetime. So if you're listening to this and thinking, this is exactly what we need because I'm stepping back into my much younger mom self when my kid was young and everything was so chaotic and so overwhelming and so hard and nothing was working, I would have listened to this and gone, you cannot tell me fast enough what I need to do to get this. I need this so bad, which is why I've created it and why I have structured it in the way that I have because it's exactly what I needed.

Penny Williams [00:21:54]: So if you feel like it's what you need too, I want you to know that you don't have to navigate all of this alone anymore. You just don't. And I know that the podcast is really helpful, but that only goes so far. Right? The Regulated Kids Project is here to give you, like, downloadably the tools, the guidance, the support to make real lasting change for your family. You are getting the tangible things and the how to altogether. This isn't just about reducing meltdowns, guys. I wanna make that very clear. It's not just about reducing meltdowns.

Penny Williams [00:22:36]: It's about creating a family life where you feel connected, calm, and confident, where your kid feels connected, calm, and confident, where things feel doable for everyone, where things feel peaceful for everyone. Now let's be real. Every moment of every day can't be peaceful. We are human beings, and this is real life. But we can create more of that. Absolutely. And then most importantly, it's about giving your kid the skills to thrive in their own very beautifully, very complex way. The regulated kids project is now open as we release this episode of Beautifully Complex.

Penny Williams [00:23:22]: The doors opened for the grand opening yesterday. So if you're ready to say goodbye to a lot of that chaos, a lot of that frustration, and to really have a map to start building a more peaceful, connected home life, I want you to go to regulated kids.com. Check out this membership, this community. I hope you'll join right away. The first 30 members are getting some awesome free gifts, and I hope that some of you make it in time to get some of those as well. I can't wait to see you inside the membership to meet you, to work with you, to help you, to watch your journey, and just be a teeny tiny part of it. Because I know that your family is going to transform, and I love guys, I love love love watching that happen. As always, I really thank you for being here, for trusting me to walk with you on part of this journey, and for showing up for your kid.

Penny Williams [00:24:23]: You're here listening to this podcast. You're already doing amazing things for your kid. I just want you to take a minute. Pat yourself on the back. Literally do it. I'm doing it right now. Pat pat pat. Tell yourself, I am enough, I've got this, and I can help my kid thrive.

Penny Williams [00:24:43]: Let's do it together. I would love to see you over at the regulated kids project. Regulatedkids.com. Take good care, guys. Thanks for joining me on the Beautifully Complex podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share, and don't forget to check out my online courses and parent coaching at parentingadhdandautism.com and thebehaviorrevolution.com.