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I have a son who just turned 9 years old and he has a dual diagnosis of ASD and ADHD. My husband is very similar (but no official diagnosis), and has the benefit that he understands a lot of the problems our son has. Toothbrushing has always been a huge problem for my son (and to be honest my husband doesn't like it either – he once told me it is an “intense sensory experience”). We transitioned to an electric toothbrush for our son for the same reason you mentioned as then even if he doesn't do a great job the toothbrush is working well. But this summer we had a breakthrough with the toothpaste. My son was refusing to use toothpaste as it was all “too minty” even if it was not mint flavored! I looked online and we now buy “non-flavored, non-foaming” toothpaste online and he now brushes twice a day with far, far less complaints.
https://www.amazon.com/Oranurse-50ml-Unflavoured-Toothpaste-Bundle/dp/B01KYKANFW/ref=sr_1_11?keywords=oranurse+toothpaste&qid=1574176315&sr=8-11