I am often asked how parents can stay calm with their children with ADHD and/or autism. In the midst of an emotional outburst or meltdown, it isn’t easy, that’s for sure. Yet, it is possible most of the time. Not easy, but definitely possible. In this video, I explain how I maintain calm composure in the face of ADHD/autism behavior.
Positive changes at home
So often, when raising a child with ADHD or autism, parents worry more about their child’s behavior and performance at school than at home. There’s good reason for that — we’re taught that school success is paramount to life success in our culture. We think, “As long as Ricochet can keep it together for school and stay out of trouble, I can handle behavior at home. That’s good enough.” Yet, it’s not good enough. In thinking that way, we are sacrificing our own relationship with our child and our family’s joy. That’s simply not okay. You can improve life at home, too.
More damage than good?
“Sit down right NOW!”
“Why didn’t you turn in your homework? You are so forgetful.”
“Why do I have to tell you over and over again? Just do it now.”
“You are driving me crazy!”
“Your backpack is a mess.”
“I don’t want to play with you.”
“Just focus and do your work.”
“Look at Jimmy over there, he’s doing his work. Be like him.”
Statements such as these can leave kiddos feeling defeated, inadequate, and incompetent, and with low self-esteem. As parents, we can nurture our children’s self-esteem by making a few shifts in our parenting approach.
Lying Can Be More Than Bad Character
Society has always thought of lying as a character flaw. For the most part, I agree. Willful lying to deceive is not acceptable and could be an indicator that someone lacks integrity. But what about when that individual has ADHD? Is it still a character flaw? Not exactly.