I have a habit of climbing up high on hope when it comes to ADHD treatment and Ricochet. It’s the kind of hope that’s so unrealistic that my feet can barely teeter on its pinnacle. This kind of hope is built on a foundation of wishful thinking: “I hope this medicine is finally the right one.” “I hope this is the school year Ricochet settles in.” When my wishes don’t [more…] come true, the foundation crumbles and hope plummets into despair. The bottom falls out from beneath me and I fall hard.
This past two months have been full of these climbs of Mount Hope, and falls into hopelessness. They have been really tough for Ricochet, and for this momma, by extension. His well-meaning doctor threw more medication at a problem that turned out to be medication-related in the first place. Then, he was on too much medication and growing toxic. His behavior spiraled out of control. Doctors, therapists, friends, and well-meaning virtual strangers kept suggesting a “mood disorder” like my kind, sweet son had been snatched from his bed one night and replaced with a raging monster. This didn’t fit with what I knew of my son and it certainly didn’t fit my hopes for him either. I didn’t believe his personality could have shifted 180 degrees overnight, and I wasn’t going to accept it. I didn’t accept it, because my momma intuition was sounding an alarm that couldn’t be ignored. These medication mistakes have had a lasting effect on Ricochet, and our whole family.
There’s light at the end of the tunnel now though. I fought hard to follow my momma intuition, despite great resistance from professionals and family alike, and it’s beginning to look like my nagging little voice was on the right track. We eliminated all extra medications except the stimulant and we are seeing more and more of out sweet boy again. There were a lot of casualties, and a whole lot of regretful interactions, but we are once again climbing up Mount Hope, this time, with a better foundation. I’m cautious, but I can’t help but be hopeful… I have to keep hoping for a life filled with goodness for my Ricochet.