PAP 026: How to Create a Parenthood that Works for Raising Kids with ADHD, by Ignoring Traditional Parenting Norms
PAP 026:
How to Create a Parenthood that Works for Raising Kids with ADHD
In this episode of the Parenting ADHD Podcast, I’m talking about why traditional parenting norms don’t work for kids with ADHD, and how to create a parenthood that works for your kid. Here are the steps I talk about in detail in this episode:
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- Destroy traditional parenting ideals and norms. Cast them out of your mind.They don’t work for ADHD.
- How to be a detective and learn your child’s truth.
- Use that truth as your guide to rewrite the plan for your parenthood, being sure expectations are developmentally appropriate, and respect who your child truly is.
- Focus on the positive more than the negative. Create opportunities for success, and for building confidence. (Many kids with ADHD feel they are “stupid,” “bad,” or “broken” and this helps to counter that.)
- Don’t expect the “norm,” and don’t expect perfection.
Some of this episode overlaps with episode 017: Throw Out the Traditional Parenting Rulebook. That’s how crucial and powerful this lesson is — that I repeatedly talk about it. 🙂
Resources in this Episode
NOTE: Some of the resources below may be affiliate links, meaning I receive a commission (at no cost to you) if you use that link to make a purchase.
- Dr. Dodson on the ADHD Brain and what motivates it.
- ImpactADHD on “should-ing” on yourself and your child.
- Diane Dempster: The Healthy Way to Make Mistakes
- Episode PAP012: Compassionate Parenting and Being a Student of Your Child
- Chusy Jardine’s TEDx talk about ADHD and Late Blooming
- Raising Human Beings, by Ross Greene, PhD
- Get Your Mind Right for Parenting Kids with ADHD online course (sale price for podcast listeners with code 7MIND7!)
Thanks for joining me!
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I’m loving your podcasts. Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
I was introduced to Dr Greene’s way of parenting a few years ago, which I love and makes sense, but when it comes to Plan B impulsivity ruins it every time. For example, you come up with a plan…the next time you get frustrated at your sister, you will walk away and read your book, instead of hit. Great plan B. It never works because in the heat of the moment, his impulsivity and intensity takes over. Whack! He hit AGAIN. Any tips of having success with this?
Create more incremental steps to your plan B. First, his goal is not to speak to her angrily or rudely. When he can do that more often than not, the goal moves to stepping back from her, or asking her to politely walk away. Then, goal met, now work on going to his room and reading a book. I think you have too big of a leap. And, remember, it has to be something your son thinks he can do. When you find the goal wasn’t realistic, you come back together and problem solve again and again until you have a plan that’s attainable.