Why I’m Obsessed with ADHD
The Diagnosis
A little more than 8 years ago, my life changed completely. That day wasn’t really a day of change, per se, it was simply the day all the struggles were given a name. It was also the day my purpose in life began to be revealed to me (finally). November 24, 2008 — the day my son was diagnosed with ADHD.
Of course, my son had ADHD since he was born. As I said, it was more a day of revelation, than change. It certainly required a lot of changes thereafter.
At the moment the doctor said my son has ADHD, I knew the source of his struggles and our inexplicable family stress since he started kindergarten the year before. Knowing the reason didn’t equate to knowing what to do though. Not even a little. I had no idea how to help him.
I started by checking out every book our little library had on ADHD. I spent my evenings searching the internet for what I was supposed to do next — how I could help my sweet boy. I didn’t leave the house without 1-2 books on ADHD. I spent every. single. spare. moment reading about ADHD.
And yet, I still did all the wrong things. I was searching and searching for how to “fix” ADHD, even though I knew there was no cure. What type of school will make it better? Which medication is the best? What supplements will reduce his ADHD symptoms? What treatment is out there that we haven’t tried? All the wrong questions. I figured that out after a couple years. A couple YEARS, folks. That’s too long to be spinning your wheels in the muck of ADHD.
The One-Eighty
Fortunately, I started to figure out that I had to change my mindset about ADHD — accept that it’s forever and create strategies and coping mechanisms for my son to thrive in spite of it. Reading The Explosive Child, by Ross Greene, helped us understand our boy so much better (even though he wasn’t explosive). That understanding, coupled with behavior modification and a lot of empathy slowly began to turn things around. And it was glorious!
One day I thought, why the heck isn’t someone telling parents of kids with ADHD the key components of this special parenthood?!?!? Seriously. Why were the millions of parents raising kids with ADHD not provided any structured guidance that’s actually beneficial in our day-to-day? It was truly mind-blowing to me. If I found just the right books and articles and put all that info together the right way, I could figure it out. And I did, but we all suffered for more than two years through that process. The most crucial information on successfully raising kids with ADHD isn’t in the top-read or -recommended articles and books on ADHD.
I couldn’t live with the thought that hundreds of thousands of other kids and families were struggling the way we did. And not because the struggle has to be so, but because the information simply wasn’t compiled and offered in the most helpful way.
So, I started writing books on parenting ADHD. I wanted to be sure my fellow special parenthood peeps know the struggle is real, they aren’t alone in the struggle, and have a guide to get to a better place with ADHD, and more efficiently.
The Epiphany
When researching my last book, The Insider’s Guide to ADHD, I complied the experiences and advice of nearly 100 adults who grew up with ADHD. A very clear picture emerged of one guiding principal all parents of kids with ADHD should adopt and live by: Honoring Your Child’s Personal Truth. When you really live that, the level of understanding, nurturing, and empathy is life-changing. Literally life-changing.
Now I felt like I had the golden ticket, and I wanted to do more to help other families implement this key approach in their lives. The next logical step was to create online courses and offer mentoring and coaching for parents. Over the last year, I extended my reach and influence with courses and mentoring. Interacting on a personal level with other parents on a similar parenting journey has enriched my life and solidified that I’m truly living my purpose (both the purpose of doing the best I can for my son in light of his disabilities, and my larger purpose for existing of lifting up others).
That’s the lengthier way of saying, in a nutshell, I do what I do because I can’t stand the thought of kids suffocating under the agony of being so misunderstood — bright, creative, caring kids who can’t figure out how to let their light shine without extra help. Teaching parents the most successful way to approach this special parenthood helps these wonderful kids let their lights shine and honor their own truth. What could be better than that?
Want to learn more about my approaches?
Join the February Parenting ADHD Like a Boss Launch Party!
All month long, I’ll be sharing tons of tips and strategies key to successful parenting for kids with ADHD. We will have 3 free, live online events, as well as special offers you can only get during the launch party, to skyrocket your success raising your child with ADHD.
This is going to be super fun! Come join me… Register for the live events by clicking here!
Penny, I want you to know how much wisdom and guidance you have given me through the years. Thank you. I think the “better” place we are in is due in part to you.
Someone returned a bag of ADHD books that I had leant her recently. It was a revelation to realize how far we’ve come, how I’m not as obsessed with ADHD as I was at one time. It’s just life now, still hard sometimes, but manageable. I can so easily remember when it didn’t seem remotely manageable. It was hard and sad and difficult, even with a beautiful, talented boy in the mix.
Someday, because of work like yours, ADHD won’t seem like such an overwhelming diagnosis. I envision a time when schools will have supports at the ready because they understand that these kids aren’t just being difficult, they just need a different approach, different tools, different tactics.