The struggle is truly real
Listen. I try to be a very positive person. I strive to implement positive parenting strategies and to be as understanding as possible with my son, Ricochet, who has ADHD and high functioning autism (formerly known as Asperger’s). If I’m going to be really real though, I must admit there will always be struggles when raising kids with neurobehavioral disorders. That’s part of this special job.
I am pretty open about my experiences and emotions raising Ricochet. Hell, I bared all in Boy Without Instructions, and I kept it real in What to Expect When Parenting Children with ADHD, too. That is definitely open. There’s no sense in sugar-coating this parenthood — that just makes other parents who are struggling feel inferior.
Let’s be real. It’s okay not to like every aspect of your own parenting story. No one does.
My confessions as an ADHD Mom
1. I sometimes get annoyed by my own child. Constant talking, obsessions, and the will of an ox can get on one’s nerves, even the nerves of a saint.
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2. I’ve cried myself to sleep many a night, worried about my son’s struggles, his future, and how cruel people can be to those who are different.
3. I have thrown away a lot of things while my son is at school (like rocks, hairbands he found on the floor, springs out of ink pens, broken toys, chewed pieces of plastic…). Don’t tell him. I knew he could live without them and I couldn’t live with them.
4. I cannot begin to count the hours I have spent meeting with, talking to, and emailing teachers to try to help them understand my son’s needs better. In the last eight years, it amounts to several hundred hours, I’m sure.
5. I have screamed expletives at my son… in my head. The frustration is real, people. Own it. It doesn’t make us bad parents.
6. I sometimes dream about my son, and in my dreams, he often doesn’t have ADHD.
7. I wish I had never allowed my kids to play video games.
8. I am so thankful my son has video and computer games.
9. I thought giving kids medication for ADHD was drugging them into submission, before I had a son with ADHD who needs medication to succeed.
10. I would do anything to take away my son’s struggles. Anything! All I want is for others to see the sweet, wonderful, smart boy I see every day (okay, most days).
Yeah, this special parenthood is tough. No doubt. Yet, it can be full of joy and wonder, too.