Confessions of an ADHD Momma
The struggle is truly real
Listen. I try to be a very positive person. I strive to implement positive parenting strategies and to be as understanding as possible with my son, Ricochet, who has ADHD and high functioning autism (formerly known as Asperger’s). If I’m going to be really real though, I must admit there will always be struggles when raising kids with neurobehavioral disorders. That’s part of this special job.
I am pretty open about my experiences and emotions raising Ricochet. Hell, I bared all in Boy Without Instructions, and I kept it real in What to Expect When Parenting Children with ADHD, too. That is definitely open. There’s no sense in sugar-coating this parenthood — that just makes other parents who are struggling feel inferior.
Let’s be real. It’s okay not to like every aspect of your own parenting story. No one does.
My confessions as an ADHD Mom
1. I sometimes get annoyed by my own child. Constant talking, obsessions, and the will of an ox can get on one’s nerves, even the nerves of a saint.
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2. I’ve cried myself to sleep many a night, worried about my son’s struggles, his future, and how cruel people can be to those who are different.
3. I have thrown away a lot of things while my son is at school (like rocks, hairbands he found on the floor, springs out of ink pens, broken toys, chewed pieces of plastic…). Don’t tell him. I knew he could live without them and I couldn’t live with them.
4. I cannot begin to count the hours I have spent meeting with, talking to, and emailing teachers to try to help them understand my son’s needs better. In the last eight years, it amounts to several hundred hours, I’m sure.
5. I have screamed expletives at my son… in my head. The frustration is real, people. Own it. It doesn’t make us bad parents.
6. I sometimes dream about my son, and in my dreams, he often doesn’t have ADHD.
7. I wish I had never allowed my kids to play video games.
8. I am so thankful my son has video and computer games.
9. I thought giving kids medication for ADHD was drugging them into submission, before I had a son with ADHD who needs medication to succeed.
10. I would do anything to take away my son’s struggles. Anything! All I want is for others to see the sweet, wonderful, smart boy I see every day (okay, most days).
Yeah, this special parenthood is tough. No doubt. Yet, it can be full of joy and wonder, too.
Wow so happy to have found your site. So much of what you say could have come from my own mouth… I am a Mum diagnosed at 37 with ADHD about 6 months after my sons diagnosis of ADHD at 6 years old. It’s tough but we are getting there and lately it’s become obvious that my son is displaying many of the ASD traits but yet undiagnosed. I’ll say it again. I am so happy to have found your blog, I kinda feel like I’ve found someone who knows my life inside and out and I hear you. I’m living it.
I’m glad you found my site as well. I enjoy getting to know others on a similar parenting journey. It is such a relief to know we aren’t the only ones with these types of struggles.
I have three sons who have been diagnosed with ADHD and of the three the eldest also has Aspergers, yes I can totally relate. My eldest is now 16 and doing amazingly well. Three years ago I wouldn’t have believed it if anyone had told me that he would find his place in the world and mature into an independent and happy young man. But he has. He still has his ADHD and Aspergers but he knows his triggers and limits and we as his parents have learned what works best for him and how to support him. The younger two are on meds and doing pretty well considering, The youngest has quite severe ADHD but we seem to have found his medication balance. The progress he has made at school in the past year has been incredible. Our middle boy is 14 which I think is a tricky age but he’s just gone back on his meds (after refusing them) and now has an after school job working with animals which he loves. He’s coming right after a difficult year, I have no regrets about using medication to help them. It’s been hard having three children who have gone through these struggles but as a family we have survived. It’s comforting to hear others stories, makes you feel not so alone.
Thanks for sharing! I love hearing success stories!